Categotry Archives: fun

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The Beer We’ll Drink in Heaven…I Guess

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Categories: fun, Things I Should Probably Not Be Telling You, What the heck was THAT?

So tonight, a new pub/restaurant that’s opening up just across the street had an open house and invited the neighborhood to come have free food and drinks before their grand opening tomorrow. So we walked the two minutes into town to check it out. And besides the free food that kept coming out of the kitchen, they offered free stuff from the bar. And they had the beer in the picture on draft.

I remembered how in his book Exiles, Michael Frost tells the story of how Arthur Guinness developed Guinness Beer. And in the book he says, “It’s the beer we’ll drink in heaven.” So since it was free…I tried it.

After all, if we’re drinking this beer in heaven, I figure I’d better get used to it.

I tried to like it. I really did. I told myself I was a manly man for drinking half a glass of it.

But when I drank it, I didn’t think of heaven. All I could think of was the other place.

So in heaven, I guess I’ll be drinking at the kiddie table. I hope they have Coca- Cola.

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Random Randomness That Has Nothing to Do With Anything

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Categories: fun, random stuff, What the heck was THAT?

This doesn’t really have anything to do with anything…but have you ever noticed the quirky little ways we solve common problems, the little remedies we create to fix little annoyances?

Take ketchup bottles, for instance. Have you ever noticed how many different techniques people have for getting the ketchup out of the bottle?

Here’s another example. Have you noticed how Coca-Cola, above other soft drinks, has a tendency to fizz up in the cup when we use the soft drink dispensers at the convenience store or restaurant? The fizz just sits there at the top–lots of it–and takes its sweet time going down. If you leave the dispenser before the fizz goes down–you’ll have a half-full cup of Coke to drink. But if you keep trying to fill it–you’ll have a handful of fizz. And if you’ve got a line of people behind you waiting for their turn…the wait time gets uncomfortable.

I love to watch the different ways people try to solve this problem. Among a few things I’ve seen:
  • Ignore the waiting people and wait for the fizz to go down (because dang-it, you PAID for that drink, and you’re leaving with a full cup!)
  • Blow on the fizz to get it to dissipate (which can backsplash in your face if you blow too hard)
  • Fan the fizz with the cup lid
  • Shake the cup gently
  • Be polite and leave with a half-cup of Coke
A few days ago, I saw something new and innovative: this guy took his finger and touched the top of the foam to get the bubbles to pop. Looked like it worked (a little).

What do I do? I’m just plain impatient. I tilt the cup at the dispenser, keep the Coke flowing, and let the fizz run over the side until I have enough Coke in the cup. (This usually amounts to an extra quarter of a cup worth of Coke going down the drain.

I know it’s wasteful. Deal with it.

So…you Coke drinkers out there…how do you deal with the fizz?

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So Enough About Me and What I Think (For the Moment)…

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Categories: fun, theological questions

…I’d be interested in knowing where you are at on your journey. So this is the interactive part of the blog experience…

In the comments, feel free to answer any or all of the following questions:

  1. Are you a Christ-follower, agnostic, atheist, pagan, or something else? How would you identify yourself? Alright, don’t be a wise guy: if you’re “something else”, say WHAT you are. Don’t leave us guessing. ­čÖé
  2. If you consider yourself a Christ-follower, what does “church” look like for you? Are you in an institutional setting, living room, meeting at a coffee shop, or somewhere in between?
  3. Do you feel like God speaks to you, or that you hear Him? How does He talk to you?
  4. Tying in with the previous question…other than the Bible, give some other avenue through which God speaks to you, or through which you seem to hear spiritual truth. (Examples: movies, other books, music, the wind in the trees…whatev.)
No judgment here–just curiosity. Where are you at?

Bring it on.

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An Interview With Myself on the Occasion of My FIVE HUNDREDTH POST

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Categories: fun, What the heck was THAT?

Last summer, I interviewed myself on the occasion of my two hundredth blog post, and it was so popular (especially with me) that I simply had to invite myself back to celebrate post 500. Here is the conversation I had with myself…

Q: Good to have you back, Jeff. Congratulations on 500 posts!
A: Good to be back, Jeff. How have you been?

Q: I’ll ask the questions, okay?
A: Fine. Shoot.

Q: Can you believe you have written 500 posts in a year and a half?
A: Nope.

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Marketing Slogans Doomed to Fail

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Categories: fun, What the heck was THAT?

Okay, readers, this is totally random…but time for a little game. Let’s use our imagination…(put on your widdle pwetend hats…)

Let’s pretend we have this mediocre product to sell–say, a brand of sugar-free gum. Our gum came in 4th place in national taste tests.

We’ll call it–Smackers.

Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum.

Now…we’re the advertising crew. And our job is to come up with a slogan for Smackers┬« Sugar-Free Gum. But the fact is, we suck just as bad as the gum does. So we come up with all these slogans that are doomed to fail.

That’s the game, folks. Come up with a slogan that will make people run away from Smackers┬« Sugar-Free Gum.

This could be fun.

Think about it…what slogan could you create that would get you fired from the Smackers┬« contract?

Here are a few examples I have come up with for your amazement amusement:
  • Smackers Gum–We’re Number Four!
  • Smackers Gum–Hey, It’s Better than Cud…
  • Smackers Gum–Recommended by 15% of All Dentists Nationwide
  • Smackers Gum–Not Legally Liable If You End Up Getting Cavities
  • Smackers Gum–The Momentary Flavor Will Leave You Asking for More
Get the idea? ­čÖé

Only rule: Keep it out of the gutter. This is a PG blog.

Winner gets a lifetime supply of Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum.*

*Lifetime supply conditional upon the existence of Smackers┬« Sugar-Free Gum on the day this blog was posted (which it isn’t). Manufacturers may cancel or revoke lifetime supply privileges at any time. Family, friends, and blog readers not eligible for prize. Read official rules for details.**

**Official Rules: There aren’t any. Wake up. There is no such thing as Smackers┬« Sugar-Free Gum. You are only doing this for fun, you dork.

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Fifty

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Categories: fun, random stuff, What the heck was THAT?

Here’s a little puzzle for you to solve. (Yes, it’s THAT kind of a post.)

Can you guess why the number fifty is significant to me today?

A little help narrowing it down:

  • It’s not the number of posts I’ve written (shoot, I’m almost to ten times that many)
  • Today is not my birthday (not that old)
  • Nor my anniversary (puh-leaze)

So…any guesses?

(Immediate family, church family and mother of the blogger are not eligible for the prize–if there was one, that is. So don’t give it away.)

I’ll update later today with the answer….

******UPDATE******

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