August 5, 2009 by

Marketing Slogans Doomed to Fail


Categories: fun, What the heck was THAT?

Okay, readers, this is totally random…but time for a little game. Let’s use our imagination…(put on your widdle pwetend hats…)

Let’s pretend we have this mediocre product to sell–say, a brand of sugar-free gum. Our gum came in 4th place in national taste tests.

We’ll call it–Smackers.

Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum.

Now…we’re the advertising crew. And our job is to come up with a slogan for Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum. But the fact is, we suck just as bad as the gum does. So we come up with all these slogans that are doomed to fail.

That’s the game, folks. Come up with a slogan that will make people run away from Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum.

This could be fun.

Think about it…what slogan could you create that would get you fired from the Smackers® contract?

Here are a few examples I have come up with for your amazement amusement:
  • Smackers Gum–We’re Number Four!
  • Smackers Gum–Hey, It’s Better than Cud…
  • Smackers Gum–Recommended by 15% of All Dentists Nationwide
  • Smackers Gum–Not Legally Liable If You End Up Getting Cavities
  • Smackers Gum–The Momentary Flavor Will Leave You Asking for More
Get the idea? 🙂

Only rule: Keep it out of the gutter. This is a PG blog.

Winner gets a lifetime supply of Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum.*

*Lifetime supply conditional upon the existence of Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum on the day this blog was posted (which it isn’t). Manufacturers may cancel or revoke lifetime supply privileges at any time. Family, friends, and blog readers not eligible for prize. Read official rules for details.**

**Official Rules: There aren’t any. Wake up. There is no such thing as Smackers® Sugar-Free Gum. You are only doing this for fun, you dork.

Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo. I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.

8 Responses to Marketing Slogans Doomed to Fail

  1. co_heir

    Smackers Sugar-free Gum: Eh, it's okay.

    Smackers Sugar-free Gum: It would taste better if it had sugar, but we wanted to be politically correct.

    wv: mistsp – the gum probably taste better if the mistsp (missed teaspoon) of flavor had been put in.

  2. Kari

    Smackers Gum: Refreshing, like a smack in the face.

    (my favorite so far is half the flavor twice the price…ha ha.)

    how about… NEW!! Smaller Size! One for the price of 2!

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