Categotry Archives: What the heck was THAT?

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That Noise You Hear Is Me Thinking About Stuff

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Categories: random stuff, What the heck was THAT?

I think about stuff. A lot. Don’t know if you’ve noticed that…

But if you have, what you probably don’t know is what it looks like–or sounds like–when I think intently about stuff. That’s because on this blog, you’re only reading the outcome of what I’ve been thinking about. You don’t get to see what actually goes on when the wheels are turning.

If I were looking at myself from the outside, I think it would be pretty funny to watch…because I have this tendency to completely forget where I am or who I am with when I’m thinking about stuff. Let me give an indication of some of the things that can happen/HAVE happened when I get lost in my thoughts. Here are the signs that I’m thinking intently about something:
  • Suddenly staring off into space while someone is talking, and missing the last half of what they said.
  • Staring into space in someone’s general direction, so it looks like I’m staring AT them (when actually it’s more like I’m staring THROUGH them–but it still freaks people out).
  • Furrowed eyebrows, wrinkled forehead, and a look that mildly resmbles being pissed off (even though I’m probably not).
  • Muttering to myself as I walk down the street.
  • Not hearing when someone says hello to me.
  • Any of several other embarrasing scenarios that either no one has told me about, or haven’t happened yet. (If you know of one I haven’t mentioned, kindly keep it to yourself for now.)
You especially want to be around me when I’m writing a song in my head. I do a lot of composing while I drive, or while walking from point A to point B. Once I forget I’m in public (which doesn’t take long), “songwriting mode” is typically accompanied by strange, rythmic, whispery, saliva-ey sounds emanating from my mouth. (In my head and inner ear, it sounds very much like drums; but I imagine it sounds way different to the outside world.)

Believe it or not, “songwriting mode” used to be a lot worse. I’ve written songs in my head for as long as I can remember, and as a kid, forgetting where I was usually involved singing whatever I was trying to write.

Out loud.

In public.

While walking.

I suppose when those kids started pointing at me and laughing, that should have given me a clue that I should have reserved “songwriting mode” for pacing in my bedroom, or the shower, or isolated fields miles from other members of the human race. Oh, well. Whatever.

So am I alone in my freak-ness? Or is anyone out there like me?

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The Parable of the Geese Who Wouldn’t Fly South

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Categories: food for thought, What the heck was THAT?

One thing I’ve observed in Denver with much interest: Canadian geese. Thousands of ’em. I thought geese were migratory birds, so I don’t really know why they are sticking around (unless this IS “south” for them), but they are all over the place. Watching their behavior has intrigued me, amused me, and inspired the following parable, based on actual things I’ve witnessed (although I’ve taken a couple of artistic liberties just to tell the story).

To quote the Master parable-teller: He who has ears to hear…let him hear! 🙂

There was once a flock of beautiful Canadian geese. They looked beautiful when they flew, especially when they flew together. They looked beautiful when they swam in the lake. But they looked a little silly when they walked. And they honked a lot, like a traffic jam at rush hour. The geese flocked around a little lake that they loved, and they would swim in it all the time.

Then one day, winter came to the beautiful country. The snows came, and the cold weather froze the lake, so that it became hard.

When the geese found that the water in their lake had turned solid, they did not know what to do. They could not swim in it. They could not eat from it. They could only walk on it like the ground. And of course, they looked rather silly when they walked.

Yet for some reason, the geese refused to leave the lake. Rather than fly gracefully elsewhere and look for other lakes that were not solid, the geese stayed around their beloved lake. They walked on the ice; they squatted on the ice as if to try to swim–but of course, they went nowhere. They just laid there, and looked sadly at the hard water as if it were a lover that had betrayed them…as if they could melt the ice by staring at it long enough.

If the geese looked silly when they walked, they looked even more silly wandering and sitting around on the lake, honking mournfully, pretending it were still melted water. They longed for the days of old when they could swim in the water again. But it never occured to the silly geese just to fly somewhere warmer. They loved their lake.

One day, a goose got tired of sitting around on the ice and decided to fly for awhile. So he got up, spread his wings, and began to fly. The other geese on the lake mocked him: “Silly goose,” they honked. “Why are you up in the sky? Come back down here and help us wish the lake to not be hard anymore!” But the goose did not listen. He flew away, and as he flew, the air got warmer. Soon he found a larger lake, even more beautiful than the one he had left. And the water was not hard, and there was plenty of food.

Ecstatic, the goose said, “I must fly back and tell the others! We can come here where the water is not hard!” So he flew back to the other geese.

“I have found a better lake!” he honked, out of breath. “The water is not hard, and there is plenty of food. We can swim and be beautiful again! Come fly with me, and I will show you.”

Some of the geese perked up. They had never imagined that there could be swimming water somewhere else. But the head goose (if that was what he was called) spoke up:

“You are just a silly goose,” he honked, walking toward him (and looking rather silly himself as he did so). “A better lake! We have flown all over this land, and there is no other lake better than this one! Besides…you don’t know what dangers might befall you in another lake. We know this lake; it is our home. You are just a silly goose.” Then he honked at the others, “This goose has lost his mind; do not listen to him. If we wish hard enough, this lake will become soft again.” With that, the head goose (if that was what he was called) squatted down again and looked mournfully at the ice. And the other geese did, too.

The goose was sad that none of the other geese would listen to him, but knowing what he had seen, he could no longer squat down on the ice. He flew away again, back to the warmer, better lake. When he got there, he noticed a few other geese that had found their way to the better lake, too. Together they swam in the water and ate, and were beautiful. The other geese at the frozen lake starved to death while they waited for the lake to not be hard anymore.

THE END

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I’m Two Years Old–I Mean My Blog Is Two Years Old

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Categories: random stuff, What the heck was THAT?

So I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to write, since I haven’t written an uber-profound post here in at least a few days…when all of a sudden, it occurs to me:

This is my blog’s two-year anniversary!

So that’s what I’m writing about. The blog is two years old today.

Isn’t that great?

Yay!

Cards, congratulatory letters, and money can be sent to…well, tell you what. Just skip the cards and PayPal the money.

You think I’m kidding.

Okay. I’m kidding.

Unless you really want to send some money. Then I’ll take it. But only on account of I’m celebrating my blog being two years old.

Because it is. Two years old.

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Thought for the Day–Or Maybe for a Couple of Days

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Categories: food for thought, What the heck was THAT?

Here is Nugget #84 from the Official Collection of Proverbs and Random Thoughts from Jeff the Twisted, Slightly Off-Center Philosopher:

“Today, we determine whether someone is part of the church by what they believe…yet when the church began, the determining factor for who was part of the church was Whom they believed in.”

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Dear God, If It Isn’t Any Trouble…Please Fix The Outdoor Thermostat. Thanks.

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Categories: random stuff, What the heck was THAT?

I walked out the door this morning to the second coldest actual temperature I ever remember experiencing. Actual temp: -15 degrees F, windchill -26.

That’s -26 actual degrees Celsius, for my Australian peeps.

I have a blogger friend in Alaska who is probably laughing right now.

The coldest morning in my memory was in Cincinnati, Ohio, 20 years ago this winter. Actual temp: -20 degrees. I remember this specifically because the engine block in my car froze, and I didn’t know it until it started smoking and clunking and died on the freeway while I was trying to go take a test. Things aren’t that critical today. 🙂 I’ve probably been in colder weather, but I was too young to remember. I only remember as a kid living in Michigan that a few times my mom wouldn’t let me go outside and play in the snow because it was too cold, and I didn’t understand why.

Yeah, I know. There are some wise guys both north and south of me that think I shouldn’t complain, that think I asked for this in moving to Denver, and what did I expect? The northerners are going, “You think this is cold? You should have been there in the winter of 19__. Now THAT was cold!”

And the southerners are going, “Serves you right, traitor. Now where did I put that slightly heavier short-sleeved shirt? It’s cold outside!”

So let me just put this into perspective a little bit:

  1. I haven’t experienced this kind of cold in 20 years. (Translation: I’m not used to it yet.) It takes a little time to acclimate.
  2. Even the natives are complaining. One lady who has lived here over 20 years said she’s never felt it like this. So not even Denverites are used to this.
I don’t know if anyone “gets used” to -15 degrees. Except maybe the Inuits. Probably this is swimsuit weather for them.
Thankfully, I think we’ve hit the bottom for now. We’re climbing to a balmy 20 above today, and back to seasonal temps by the weekend.

So…what’s the coldest temperature you’ve ever experienced?

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A Post-Thanksgiving Not-So-FAQ About My New Life In Denver

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Categories: What the heck was THAT?

Okay, let me unpack that…this would be a FAQ about my new life in Denver, except nobody is really asking these questions–which means they are actually Not-So-Frequently-Asked-Questions. And this is after Thanksgiving…hence the name.

Why are you writing a Not-So-FAQ?
Because these are questions people would ask if they thought of them.

How are you liking Denver?
Lovin’ it.

How do you like your flat?
It’s awesome. My favorite apartment ever.

Even though it’s less than half the square footage of where you used to live?
Even though.

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Can Yuo Raed Thsi?

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Categories: What the heck was THAT?

I haerd smoethnig a copule of yaers ago. I hared thta if yuo mxi up teh ltteers of aech wrod or eevn mispel smoe of thme, peeopl cna stlil raed it. Yuo jsut need to kepe teh frist adn lsat lerttes of each wrod crorect whneever psosible. Our brians aer supopsed to be albe to firgue out teh rset.

So yuo dnot reely nede to wrory if yuo cnat spel. Yoo jsut nede to get teh frist and lsat lteres rihgt, adn yuo haev it maed.

So…did it wrok? Wree yuo albe to raed tihs?

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The Bubble (excerpt)

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Categories: What the heck was THAT?

From my recent post at Communitas Collective. (Go check the new site…lots of updates!)

I lived inside a bubble long ago
Where all inside was safe and sterilized
With all the evils of the great unknown
Conveniently ignored and hid from view
And others lived within the bubble, too
And we enjoyed the bliss of ignorance
Our bubble-world, to us utopia
Protecting us from chance and circumstance

And everything made sense within the walls
A micro-world, with everything controlled
Unanswered questions gnawing at our souls
Could easily be shoved beyond the veil

(There’s more…read the rest here…)

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The Beer We’ll Drink in Heaven…I Guess

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Categories: fun, Things I Should Probably Not Be Telling You, What the heck was THAT?

So tonight, a new pub/restaurant that’s opening up just across the street had an open house and invited the neighborhood to come have free food and drinks before their grand opening tomorrow. So we walked the two minutes into town to check it out. And besides the free food that kept coming out of the kitchen, they offered free stuff from the bar. And they had the beer in the picture on draft.

I remembered how in his book Exiles, Michael Frost tells the story of how Arthur Guinness developed Guinness Beer. And in the book he says, “It’s the beer we’ll drink in heaven.” So since it was free…I tried it.

After all, if we’re drinking this beer in heaven, I figure I’d better get used to it.

I tried to like it. I really did. I told myself I was a manly man for drinking half a glass of it.

But when I drank it, I didn’t think of heaven. All I could think of was the other place.

So in heaven, I guess I’ll be drinking at the kiddie table. I hope they have Coca- Cola.
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