I couldn’t think of anything clever to name Part 3, so we’ll just go for it and see what happens. 🙂
In this series, I’ve been processing some thoughts about Christians and light and darkness, and perhaps some misconceptions. In the last post, I mentioned how a friend had observed a bit of a dark theme in one of The Wild One’s photographs, and how since I’ve let go of some of my own fears of the dark, I’ve noticed that I have gravitated toward darker themes in my own creative stream. I’d like to dwell on this a few minutes–especially from a creative/artistic view.
I particularly notice the change in myself when when I hear some believer talking the way I used to talk about these things–a bit of apprehension toward what they consider “dark”. I think there’s this latent fear (and sometimes not so latent) that by exploring the darkness in the creative arts–or by watching it–we somehow invite it.
I also think this goes back to a simplistic assumption that light equals good and darkness equals evil, and we demand that the media reflect that. And I’m not just talking about stuff that’s overtly demonic, or perverse for its own sake. Many Christians are critical of movies and books that have sad or tragic endings rather than happy ones, or violence in media–and all they can really say about it is that it seems “dark.” By contrast–too much of what Christians create is so bubble-gum happy and sterile (read: mediocre) that very few people can relate to it. I can’t stand the Christian music station anymore, and I don’t go see the movies made by the “Christian” companies. For me, I don’t think my recent attraction to darker themes has anything to do with the seduction of darkness upon my soul; I just think it is more honest–more real, more believable.
Here’s one example of what I’m saying. A few years ago, a Christian-owned movie company released a movie in theaters about the story of Esther, called One Night with the King. Many of my Christian friends thought it was amazing; I thought it was a travesty, because Esther acted more like a 20th-century conservative charismatic Christian than a Jewish woman in an ancient pagan harem. It highlighted to me the disconnect the Christian subculture has–not just with the world, but even with the Bible itself! We forget that if they really made a movie out of the Bible, it would be rated R or worse. Sex, betrayal, deceit, suicide, demonic manifestations, murder, blood and gore–it’s all in there. If the modern church really stopped to think about the Bible, they’d come to the startling conclusion that the Bible itself would have to be banned, by their own criteria of what is “too dark.” This suggests to me that we have either overdone the metaphor of light and darkness as it relates to God…or that we have missed the point entirely.
Yes, the Bible does say that “God is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all.” It also admonishes us repeatedly to “walk in the light”. But as I mentioned in the last post, there is at least one other Scripture that counterbalances that idea–one that honestly has both encouraged and troubled me in times past.
Psalm 139 says this: “Where can I go from Your Spirit, or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol [i.e., the nether world, the Hebrew primitive understanding of hell]…behold, You are there!” (I beg your pardon? God in the underworld?? I’ll have some speculations about this in a future segment of this series.) It goes on to say, “Even the darkness is not dark to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You.”
Apparently, this black-and-white picture we’ve had of light and darkness isn’t quite as black-and-white. Do I dispute that God is light? Not at all. But God also created light…and also created day and night, and is Lord over all the universe–not just the bright parts. I think we need to consider from the Scriptures that even though “in Him there is no darkness at all”–God is still present in the darkness, the same as He is present in the light.
The point I’m pondering in all this rambling is that many of those things that we consider to be “dark”–the darker emotions of anger, sadness and fear, the stark realities of injustice, abuse, and tragedy, and so on…these things do not happen in a vacuum apart from God’s presence. And contrary to how the contemporary Christian music industry might portray it, the perfect Christian life is not a life void of negatives. That just isn’t reality. At any given moment in this world, there is a cacophony of good and evil, the divine and the demonic–sometimes occurring in the same room! Just because someone is having a difficult moment does not mean God has left, and just because something seems dark doesn’t automatically make it evil. (And lest we forget–one of Satan’s favorite tricks is to appear as an angel of light. Try tossing that wrench into our clean-cut presumptions about all this.)
So I’m considering the very real possiblity that darkness and evil are not necessarily synonyms. Certainly, evil prefers the darkness because it can lurk and hide within it. But if I’m reading my Bible correctly, there is Someone Else present in the darkness. God is there, too.
So why bother with all this? I guess it’s that I get a little grieved and perturbed that we are so quick to write off certain things because we assume they are “too dark,” or that the darkness is necessarily something to be avoided. In all honesty, it has been in the darkest moments of my life that God has become the most real to me. In fact, I find it quite interesting that one of the most powerful exercises counselors do in inner healing is to urge people to focus on the dark places in their soul, the dark moments of their history–to go there on purpose. Why? To look for God in the darkness–to go back to that place and realize that He was there. Some of the most powerful healing moments come within that realization.
Creatively, I know all about how to write a song that is filled with light and happiness in Jesus. I’ve written a lot of them–and quite frankly, I’m bored. I want more. And I think that’s why the darker themes are inspiring me now. For so long I ran from the darkness, thinking I was running from evil itself. But what I wasn’t realizing was that there’s a side to God that isn’t found when everything is all happy. In fact, people need to see God the most, not when everything is good, but when darkness surrounds them. I think that’s why God is in the darkness. I think He’s there because that is where people hurt and bleed and grieve and despair.
God is in the darkness. There was a day when that would have sounded almost blasphemous to me. But nowadays…it’s possibly one of the most comforting things I could think of.
And it’s a thought that’s very inspiring to this creative soul.
We’re not done, yet. More to come on this… 🙂
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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i have enjoyed this lil series. 5 stars brother..
darkness. im thinking that the garden of gethsemane was a dark place for the Lord.
ive always wanted to write the story of Jesus 40 days in the dessert. a journal type thing. (they didnt have blogs back then, but even a blog type thing)The dessert must have been dark at times. did Jesus feel hurt, alone, abandoned.
was he hopeful?
im guessing it was a dark place during His beating too.
we know it was dark (not the absence of light) at a point during the crucifixion.
im still along side ya on your journey. my ipod has stuff on it i told my daughter to not listen to 18 years ago….i must be a hypocrite.
You are Loved
Brother Frankie
Bang on. Really enjoying the series, Jeff. There is a real element of denial in Christian culture that is not found in the Bible – nor in the ministry of Jesus.
In fact, this cultural attribute that only wants to see pretty, happy things keeps us back from the fullness of the gospel.
The cross is not pretty and happy. There is no resurrection without pain and death. But our Western heritage gets in the way. Greek culture emphasizes beauty (look at ancient Greek art) and niceness and all of that. But this is only half of the picture of life in a fallen world. There can be no real redemption as long as we are in denial about falleness and shame and hurt – the dark stuff.
And yes, creatively, I'm bored to death with the sanitized, unreal, hellenistic-Christian version. It's not authentic.
Frankie,
Welcome to the hypocrites club. 🙂 Although listening to music once "banned" 18 years ago isn't too much of an offense…yesterday's rock is today's country, apparently. 😀 When you secretly listen to your kids' radio stations…now that's something. 😉 Thanks for the comment.
Sarah,
I am very aware of how Greek thinking/philosophy affects our modern view of Scripture; I did not put together that Greek art influences our tendency to filter out the darker themes. Insightful!
"When you secretly listen to your kids' radio stations…now that's something."
your a heathen…. 🙂
Jeff,
I'm enjoying this series, even though I'm not as comfortable as you are with *exploring* the "dark" aspects of human experience.
That may be because I've had some encounters with God that revealed to me more of the brilliance of his light, his beauty. Because of these, I'm gravitating to God's light and beauty more than before. I realize that what I used to think was his "light" was really just "niceness". In what I've experienced from God, his light conveys such a powerful holiness and purity that, without the presence of the Spirit of Jesus, this light is terrifying, as by its nature it reveals what is not light in me. I think Isaiah, Job, Ezekiel, Daniel and John all tried to describe their responses to encounters with God's pure-light holiness.
Therefore, I think what you're tired/bored of isn't really God's light, but the standard interpretation of what that light connotes: niceness, inoffensiveness, conformity to accepted standards. In other words, American Christianity-as-usual.
I also want to suggest that through your desire to push past understandings that no longer work for you (spiritual warfare based on fear, understanding of God based on surface-level definitions of light/holiness), the Lord is calling to you, to enter a much deeper relationship with him. This relationship would be something that's been tagged "contemplative" or "mystical," though those tags have been misconstrued by many who have never entered that phase of the relationship with God.
The contemplative relationship includes – it's almost defined by – experience of the hidden side of God, in which frustration over dryness, desire to move beyond earlier understandings of God, desire to move into something deepr with God, etc., come to the fore. Old ways somehow no longer work, but you don't yet know the new ways. You can't explain to friends what God is doing, and you can't seem to "find" him anymore.
This experience is perfectly expressed by the word "darkness," and the paradox of seeking the God of light in personal darkness (not "evil" as darkness, but simply the absence of a clearly understood path or clear hearing of God's voice).
Moses expressed this experience perfectly on Mt. Sinai/Horeb, when he wrote in Exodus 20, "The people remained at a distance [from the mountain on which God was manifesting his presence through trumpet blasts, fire and earthquakes], while Moses approached the thick darkness where God was." (Note "the thick darkness where God was" — God was IN the darkness.)
Forty years later, Moses recalled to the next generation how their fathers met God on the mountain, when God spoke out of fire and darkness: "You came near and stood at the foot of the mountain while it blazed with fire to the very heavens, with black clouds and deep darkness."(Deut 4)
[continued in next comment]
Frankie,
🙂
Don,
Thanks for your remarks and reflections here. As a point of clarifying…the brilliance of God that you have described, a brilliance that evokes even fear, is a good description. The "light" I'm bored with isn't what I'd call inoffensiveness or niceness, as much as I'd call it superficiality.
The personal darkness you have described, I recognize to be what mystics labeled the "dark night of the soul." I have gone through such a season, I believe as a direct answer to a very sincere prayer I prayed: "God I want more; I want to go deeper." 🙂 It was such an intense and extended season that I don't think anyone who has not experienced it can relate to it. This, also, is why I think I react negatively to the mamby-pamby superficiality put forth by modern-day Christianity. It seems so fake and bubble-gum and doesn't do justice to the depths of God.
I came out of that season with all my religious crutches broken and leaning upon God, and am in the process still of being remade from all the stuff I once thought this life was about, that fell by the wayside during that dark period.
I thought this post, The Wondrous Cross, related to some of the thoughts here.
You say you are – a songwriter, musician, minister and house church pastor you want to add teacher to that as well. May God continue to bless you mighitly Jeff.