March 8, 2008 by

Questions I Have Been Asked as a Pastor

2 comments

Categories: food for thought, fun, What the heck was THAT?

  1. “____ [insert child’s name] has a temperature. What should I do?”
  2. “I was thinking of going to the theater to see ________, which opens today. Is there any bad stuff in it?”
  3. “Which pizza place is offering the $5 medium pizzas?”
  4. “Can you watch ______ [insert child’s name] for a few hours?”
  5. “Would you rather lose your thumb, or would you rather lose a foot?” (asked by an 11-year old boy)
  6. “Is it supposed to rain today?”
  7. “What would happen if I dropped this on the floor?” (asked by the same 11-year-old boy)
  8. “Who started McDonald’s?” (asked by the same boy–he’s very inquisitive)
  9. “Our ride ditched us, and it’s a half hour until curfew. Can you come pick us up?”
  10. “I can’t get my email to work. What’s wrong with my computer?” (asked via telephone)
  11. “How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?” (not really–I just threw that question in for humorous effect)
Apparently, among other things, a pastor needs to be a weatherman, a doctor, a childcare provider, a business historian, a technical support representative, a movie reviewer, a late-night taxi service, and an expert in theoretical scenarios. (Do they teach these things in seminary? I’ve never been.)

Actually, if I can remove my tongue from my cheek for a moment…there we go. When I get questions like these, it’s a sign to me that the people in my community of faith are comfortable enough to ask them–and that makes me happy. It’s a sign to me of genuine community, and by being in that kind of relationship, I think a pastor can do much more to help people.
It’s not without risk. I’ve been hurt, and I’ve hurt others by my own brokenness. But no one said this walk would be risk-free. I was trained as a pastor to keep a safe distance from people, under the excuse of maintaining credibility and the ability to lead. But ultimately I think that’s a form of self-protection, and not only does that attitude keep us from genuinely helping people, but it does NOT protect us from pain. I’ve done it both ways now, and I think the risk is worth it. And I also think it better reflects the way Jesus, the Good Shepherd, walked it out with His disciples, and even with us today.
I heart my job.

It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure. (Oh wait, that’s an old US Army slogan. But still.)
“No, I’m sorry, I am not trained to perform tooth extractions.” (Tongue back in cheek now.)

Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo. I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.

2 Responses to Questions I Have Been Asked as a Pastor

  1. Jeff Greathouse

    I love those.

    I don’t get asked too odd of ones where I am at now. I really think that it is a denominational and regional thing.

  2. Doorman-Priest

    “Will I be able to park in front of the Town Hall?”

    One day I WILL tell, them they are confusing me with someone who cares!

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