September 22, 2013 by

Deep Stirrings of the Soul

1 comment

Categories: How I am, Meanderings (look it up)

I haven’t figured out why this is, and I don’t know if this is true with everyone, but there seems to be certain seasons of the year when my family’s life is prone to transition and change. Late summer/early fall seems to be one of those seasons; I’m not sure I can even recall how many times we’ve encountered a major life change during the months of August, September and October. And for some strange reason, December 19 is a huge day on my historical calendar; it’s remarkable how many significant life events have happened for me on December 19. But I digress…

Labor Day weekend marked four years since our family moved to Denver, and perhaps the reason I’m thinking about this now is that once again, I’m feeling deep stirrings of the soul in this season. There have not been any major life changes (so far), but something is happening deep inside–call it a holy dissatisfaction, an urge to press through into a new season. A stirring of the nest, as it were.

A lot of it is still ambiguous, but as I’ve lived my life, I’ve learned not to ignore these stirrings, because they usually lead to something good. Here’s what I do know:

  • I feel I have grown stale in my current activities within the music community, like they have accomplished their goal and can’t bear any more fruit; and I have a desire to do something more tangible or to expand my reach.
  • In talking to some within the music community here, there is a prevalent sense of discouragement right now, with many people thinking of quitting. (This particularly piques my interest because at heart I am an encourager. There may be a divine timing for something new.)
  • Each of my family members individually is right on the cusp of creative breakthrough with regard to our respective gifts. The Wild One has made great strides in her art over the summer and is just about ready to be shown in galleries. The Director has done some great film projects that could really give him exposure when they get into the hands of the right people. And over the past year with my own activities in music and as a recording studio apprentice, I’ve acquired some new skills that could send me in a number of very good directions. I don’t think this is coincidence. Even though we have different artistic gifts, we are already a little micro-community, and we constantly have discussions where we encourage and push one another.


I guess what I’m seeing with all this is that we are being set up for something that is just over the horizon, and now my soul is being stirred to see what it is. I find myself praying more often, almost on impulse, as I go through my daily activities, asking God to reveal His plan and His purpose. Sometimes it is out of a sense of hope, other times out of desperation.

But the stirring is there. Definitely.

I wish I could tell you more. But I don’t know what it is yet. Stay tuned…

Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo. I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.

One Response to Deep Stirrings of the Soul

  1. Kingwa

    Love your blog, super-soulful! One of the songs that’s been returning to my mind these past two years has that phrase- “i’m losing my religion”… Such a terrifying, eery thing…. But yet when you lose it, you find yourself in a whole new way. Peace

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