I’ve found myself really asking God some important questions over the past week or so. My heart has been stirred on a few levels because I’ve come to realize that I’ve fallen into a bit of a rut.
Ruts are sneaky sons of guns, especially for creatures of habit like me. I enjoy having a routine, but after awhile, you look up from what you’re doing and realize the rut is dug so deep that all you can see are the walls of dirt on either side of you.
I have to admit that even with the things we’ve been doing in the creative community here, things have begun to feel a bit stale recently. For me personally, I’m not as motivated to go out to shows as I used to be, and although I’m pleased with what’s happening in the coffee shop on Sundays, I still am not sure where that’s ultimately going. I don’t want this stuff to start feeling like a chore. As I began to realize this rut, at first I began to worry that we might be drifting, losing our way; but instead, I think what’s happening is simply a stirring of heart for something more.
We first began doing what we’re doing in the arts community in order to build relationships and establish our footing. That has effectively happened. I now have a voice in the music scene here, and likewise The Wild One and The Director have a voice within their creative circles. So the same-old-same-old is starting to feel stale, because it’s covering the same ground, and I think that’s why I’m feeling a loss of interest. It may be time for something more tangible to happen.
I am not sure yet what this will look like, but I am definitely thinking about it and asking God about it. For awhile, now, I’ve been pondering setting up some sort of non-profit group that is geared to help upcoming creatives in a tangible way, whether it be financial subsidies, life coaching or even helping to produce and promote their work. I hadn’t taken any steps toward it before now because as I’ve said before, I didn’t want to try and “make something happen.” After beating my head against the wall in Tulsa for 10 years, I’m kind of done with that approach. 🙂
But if it’s the right time for something like this, then I believe things will begin coming together as we take the proper steps. And so I’m wondering, and asking God, if it’s now the right time.
No real life-altering revelations to report here, and I don’t have solid answers yet. I do believe, though, that in the next couple of months something is going to change for us. The nest is definitely being stirred; I just don’t know where everything’s going to land yet.