Oh, boy, I may be stepping into some thick crap today…but it wouldn’t be the first time… 🙂
From my “tween” years through high school, I grew up in a racially integrated environment in California. My friends at school included people who were white, black, Chinese, Filipino, Latino (European and North American), Portuguese, Vietnamese…the list goes on. We played together, had fun, even sometimes joked about our differences. It just wasn’t a big deal to us. Also, most of my friendships were within the churches I attended, which added to the sense of brotherhood/sisterhood with all of us. The diversity I lived in felt so normal that I honestly thought racism was dead in this country. And especially in the church.
Then I moved to the south. 🙂
My first wake-up call was when I attended a Christian college in Oklahoma. I couldn’t help noticing that the African-American students tended to hang around together on campus in clusters, and when I’d walk by and say hello, they wouldn’t respond. In fact, they looked at me like I was sort of nuts for talking to them–even looking like they were suspicious. I could feel the chill. I had never experienced the sense of segregation like this, and it took me off guard. I especially couldn’t get my mind around the fact that it was happening, especially in a Christian environment. I had never experienced this cold shoulder before.
The next time I experienced something like this was when I was waiting tables for living in Cincinnati a few years later. Numerous times I had the experience where a large party of African-Americans would come into the restaurant, run me ragged, sending me back and forth to the kitchen for the smallest stuff, then leave me no tip when they left. When I realized those parties tended to treat a black server much better (and tip them well), it was easy to deduce that I was treated this way not because I gave bad service, but because I was white. It dawned on me that they were toying with me, almost as if to say, “How does it feel to be on this end?”
These are examples of what I call “reverse prejudice”, and these aren’t the only instances where I have felt it. The best way I can describe this dynamic is when a victim of prejudice responds with prejudice toward the people group they believe to be victimizing them. The African-Americans in my stories didn’t know me at all; they could know nothing about the diverse background I came from, nor could they have realized that I didn’t harbor the same attitudes as the other white folks they’d probably been in contact with. They just assumed I was the same as all the other white people–because I was white–and they responded according to their assumptions. They assumed I thought less of them, so they thought less of me, and treated me as though I were the enemy. Reverse prejudice. In essence, I was judged, not for my sins against them (I hadn’t done anything to them), but for the sins others of my race had committed.
The reason I open this can of worms is that race isn’t the only area where we practice prejudice. The word “prejudice” basically means to “pre-judge”–to draw a conclusion about someone without really knowing them, based on what group of people we associate them with. I don’t know anyone, including myself, who does not do this in some way, and we do it on so many levels. Not that it is completely avoidable–we label each other all the time–but it’s important to think about, for sure.
Race, as I said, isn’t the only way we practice prejudice, or reverse prejudice. Here is just a partial list of words we use to group each other, and which can be targets of prejudice. See if you identify with some of these:
Man
Woman
Southerner
Northerner
Christian/evangelical
atheist
Muslim
Hindu
liberal
conservative
Democrat
Republican
gay
straight
punk
goth
American
Chances are, there are at least one or two words on that list that evoked an emotional response from you, possibly a negative one. When you read that word (or those words), you likely made assumptions about the people that word describes. That is a form of prejudice, and I believe we all do it. And by the way, I don’t think it’s necessarily a sinful trait, because we all categorize as a way of trying to understand the world around us. It’s when we draw a negative conclusion, attribute negativity to the label in general, and by extension attribute negativity to everyone we associate with that label, that prejudice really becomes a problem.
But here’s where it gets really sticky. Some of the words on that list are perceived as opposing sides, and if you identify yourself with one of those groups and have been a victim of prejudice as a result, chances are you had a strong reaction to the opposing group of people whom you see as victimizing you. That is a sign of reverse prejudice.
Not only have I experienced reverse prejudice, but I have (to my shame) perpetrated it. When 9/11 happened in this country, and we found that it was the work of Muslim extremists, it made us feel very vulnerable as a nation. When we realized that the people who had done this thing had lived among us, some becoming American citizens, and that we had taught them to fly those jets in flying schools on our own soil, it felt like betrayal. It suddenly became very difficult for a lot of non-Middle-Eastern Americans to trust anyone with that heritage. And it became very difficult for Middle Easterners in America who had nothing to do with that act, or with any other act of terrorism. I had no real prejudice against Middle-Easterners in general, and no hatred for Islam (although I do not agree with much of what it teaches). But I found myself looking at every Middle-Easterner with suspicion for a long time after that–not because I hated them, but because I felt victimized by others like them. (Never mind that they were as much victims as I was.) I always wondered who could be trusted, and I assumed the worst until proven otherwise. It was a classic case of reverse prejudice. (My profound apologies to my Middle-Eastern readers for this.)
So why go into all this? Because reverse prejudice is just as bad as prejudice itself. It goes dead against what the Scripture teaches us about returning evil for evil. And not only that, but because prejudice of any kind inevitably victimizes the innocent, we actually end up returning the evil to people who did not wrong us and do not deserve our scorn.
- Is it any more right of me to to suspect all Muslims of conspiring against my country than it is for Muslim extremists to hate my country and want to destroy it?
- Is it any more right for a black person to hold me in contempt for my being white than it is for other members of my race to oppress blacks in general, deny them their due rights or to have enslaved them?
- Is it any more justifiable for a gay person to assume all conservative Christians are homophobes and bigots than it is for a conservative Christian to assume a gay person is a sexual predator? (Am I stepping in it now?)
Can you see what I mean? The cycle has to break somewhere. Prejudice is prejudice. As much injustice as one people group can do to another, what’s wrong for one has to be wrong for the other. It can’t be okay to hate the perceived haters. And it is never right for any of us, oppressor or oppressed, to make judgments toward an individual because of the perceived actions of others. To do so, in all honesty, makes us no better than the ones who have wronged us.
So enough of my rambling. Any thoughts?
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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"Prejudice is prejudice."
Amen to that Jeff! I remember the first time I heard someone said "So what if Obama is a Muslim!" .. of course he is not.. but it made me think about how many Christians think that all Muslims are evil.. sad how we who are instructed to love our enemies can sometimes act.
I agree with you, Jeff….as long as we realize there is a clear difference between the long-term and severe persecution certain minority groups have lived under… versus them casting you or I an evil eye because we are white, or whatever. (And yes I know there are extreme exceptions of reverse prejudice, but they are not very common.)
My kids attend VERY diverse schools…in one of my sons' class last year he was one of only 4 white children in a class of 25. I volunteer there on a regular basis, and I regularly experience the wary views some of the children have of me when I am working on math or reading with them. It's almost as if they are expecting me to judge them by their race. But I understand the cultural reasons for this, and work to meet them where they are at as much as possible (like counting in spanish with them). They always seem surprised that I would make the effort. Granted this is with children…so it's different.
And no, in answer to your questions, it's not right…but it's often understandable.
KB,
I think so much divisiveness happens (in both directions of an issue) by the us vs. them mentality…and the stronger one tends to become the oppressor. But so much of it is based on general assumptions. And Christians are just as prone to those assumptions as anyone else, sadly enough.
Erin,
Certainly a long-term pattern of racial persecution can't be measured against a suspicious glance; on that we agree. But I'm not talking about tit-for-tat, or the severity of one offense against the other; and I think that's an unsafe path to walk because it almost suggests that one warrants the other.
I absolutely would not compare the little stuff that happened to me, for example, with the horrors of slavery or the humililations of Jim Crow (and if I made it sound like that, I made a gross error). What I would point out, however, is that what happened to me was *not* because of anything I did to contribute to those injustices. That's the whole problem with prejudice in any form; when we act on our generalizations and presumptions, we run the risk of injuring someone who did us no wrong. An "understandable" reaction is not necessarily a justifiable one.
The biggest difference between what I'm talking about and, for example, your work with the kids, is that you have the ability to overcome the wrong assumptions by acting in a redemptive way that wins those kids over. I'm all about the idea of coming in the opposite spirit in order to help bring healing; I've advocated that very approach, if you recall, in my discussions about gender issues. But how would it be if you were rebuffed in your conciliatory efforts because the people you reached out to *assumed* you were like everyone else of your kind, and insisted on responding to you as the enemy? No healing could take place–not because of your prejudice, but because of theirs. This is what I'm talking about. Prejudice of ANY KIND, for ANY REASON, cripples the healing process, because misunderstandings are perpetuated by it. That's what makes reverse prejudice such a subtle enemy. It isn't about one injustice being worse than another; it's about how we go *past* that point into healing. Hope that makes sense.
I hear you, Jeff, and didn't mean to seem argumentative, I'm sorry if I did. I've seen just what you're talking about and it isn't right.
It's just a sensitive topic for me because I deal with it all the time, and am trying to make the effort to be "opposite". Any day of the week you could come into my home and find people (teenagers mostly) of any variety of minority race(s). It's very important to me to find ways to overcome this…and the best ways I have seen I've learned from the kids. That is, laugh at yourself and the stereotypes about your own race, and meet people where they are at, with sensitivity for where their race has been in historical America.
I guess that's all I was saying. It's just important to me.
By all means, Erin, and no offense taken. Sounds like we're actually on the same page. My passion in addressing this also comes from a deep desire to bridge gaps. I think how you're handling things in your circle is right, in rolling with the punches, staying engaged, being consistently "opposite." And obviously it's having some sort of effect, because otherwise the kids wouldn't keep coming to your house. 🙂
I think part of my background is that numerous times I haven't even been given that opportunity to work in the opposite spirit. I've been dismissed out of hand because of reverse prejudice, mainly from adults. In other words, I didn't even get the chance to stay engaged or to demonstrate the "opposite", because people went with their presumptions, and that was that. And admittedly, I have a deep (compulsive?) need to be understood, 🙂 and I find it incredibly frustrating to be baked in the same pie with a presumed enemy, rather than listened to. So that's a bit of my backdrop, and where I'm coming from in the conversation.
So no apology needed, sis. Your comments, as usual provoke thought and help me process as well.
I think there's a lot of issues at play in this topic.
A big one is trust. It would be nice if people of "other" groups were just completely open to us… open to finding out who we are and what we're about rather than being cautious or suspicious. But past experiences of a negative nature can inform present reactions.
I live in the Pacific Northwest, in a relatively small town. And I see racism *all the time*. Mostly from white clerks toward East Indians (wearing saris and turbans) who cross the border from Canada to buy milk and cheese (which is cheaper here). They are talked to like they're children, at a much higher volume. As if they don't understand English. The same clerks then turn to me and are normal and kind. I'm treated with respect just because of my race and my western apparel. I'm always perturbed when that happens.
As an American who has lived overseas (and up north in Canada), I've experienced *plenty* of prejudice and presumptions about my character before being given a chance to show who I was. But that's simply a mistrust issue that's been historically informed.
It was really hard to get past other people's woundedness and not take it personally. (In university in Canada, I came home and cried on more than one occasion for some of the bigotry I experienced. I heard a lot of "stupid American" jokes in those years, always recited to me just after someone found out I was from the states. Gee, thanks).
But that experience was so useful! It allowed me to learn what prejudice does, and how hurtful and unfair it is. And it made me more generally empathetic to visible minorities.
And while I, personally, may not have perpetrated policies that were harmful to other peoples, but I represent America when I go other places (including working with the church in other countries). And I have sometimes felt the need to articulate apologies and sincere empathy for destructive behavior and hurt that has resulted from my country of origin.
I believe that mistrust can only be successfully addressed from an attitude of humility and empathy. Of course, there will eventually come a requirement on the part of the "other" to forgive. The wound can never heal without forgiveness. But until they are ready to do so, I must give space for their mistrust – knowing that it didn't develop in a vacuum, but rather, a context specific to their experience.
Sarah, great thoughts, well articulated.
Trust is definitely an issue in all this, one that I've pondered but didn't get around to verbalizing here. Whenever there has been a breach, there has to be an earning and rebuilding of trust.
Prejudice takes so many subtle forms besides racial differences, and it almost always results in misunderstanding and a breakdown of meaningful communication. I think the reason at heart behind this post was that I wanted to show that prejudice never really just flows in one direction. If we really want to get at the heart of the issue and work toward healing, we must each one start with the person in the mirror…taking an honest look at the ways we ourselves prejudge others.
The parable of the Good Samaritan is an excellent example of Jesus confronting attitudes of prejudice reverse and forward in one fail swoop. Had the story been about a Jew helping a Samatitan He would have only been addressing prejudice. But the Samaritan was a member of the minority. The tables were turned and the Jew is dependent on the minority member. Genius!!
Had he told the story today in Atlanta, Tulsa or Panama City, He would have told the story of my ethnic group being rescued by the Good Black, Mexican or Muslim. Or any of those on your list.
Great post, Jeff!
I was on fire that day! Why don't I write that well on my own blog?! Lol! Well, sorry if it was a bit long-winded. And your point is a good one. We all do it. Being aware helps us to think twice, and hold our judgments and perceptions of people more loosely. (I have started to take my own opinion with a grain of salt – ha!)
Anyway, thanks for posting, and I really enjoyed Dave Lloyd's comment here too!