July 22, 2008 by

The Unwritten Rules of Blogging (as I Interpret Them)

14 comments

Categories: fun, What the heck was THAT?

So I’ve been officially in the blogosphere for a little over six months now, and maybe, just maybe, I’m getting the hang of it.

Come to find out that bloggers, like nearly any other group, have their own little culture. So you don’t just sign on with a Blogger account and start writing. NOooooo. You have to learn how to do it, um, properly. Just like we had to learn certain rules of etiquette when we started emailing, or certain ways of expressing ourselves with characters other than the alphabet (like 300 different forms of smiley faces) 😀 –as a blogger, you eventually learn how to walk the walk. Online, of course.

There is no course of study on how to blog (or if there is, it’s probably lame). For me, I’m a natural student of human nature, so what I have learned about blogging, I’ve learned by paying attention to what other bloggers are doing–kind of a peer pressure kind of thing. So here are just a few things I have learned about the unwritten rules of blogging.

  1. Use lots of hyperlinks–like this random link to Aaroneous’ blog, or this random link to one of my previous posts. Using links is not only a courtesy to help drive traffic to other bloggers’ sites (and your own)–it also makes you look like you are real smart for all the online reading you obviously are doing.
  2. When people are good enough to leave comments on your blog, you should comment back. Even if there are 237 comments and it takes you all night and part of the next day. Forget the job; blogging IS your job now. Responding to comments shows people you care. (Responding to 237 comments shows that you are obsessive/compulsive; but that’s another blog entry.)
  3. DON’T WRITE ANYTHING IN ALL CAPS, LIKE THIS. JUST LIKE WITH EMAIL, WRITING IN ALL CAPS MEANS YOU ARE SHOUTING. AND SHOUTING IS IMPOLITE. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE BLOGGING ANYWHERE SOUTH OF THE MASON-DIXON LINE IN AMERICA.
  4. Cool. Bloggers. Sometimes. Put. A. Period. At. The. End. Of. Each. Word. Like. This. I have no idea what this means. Just do it from time to time. You’ll fit in.
  5. Cool bloggers like to start postings as if they are continuing a conversation. Like starting a post with the word “So” (you’ll notice my bloggy coolness in doing that at the beginning of this very post). Starting with “And” or “But” is done less frequently, but also pretty hip, if you ask me.
  6. Bloggers sometimes deliberately use bad grammar for effect; however, you should try and spell-check whenever you can. Nothing makes a wors impression than bad speling.
  7. Excessive potty-mouthing is not good, but it is considered chic to throw an occasional cuss word into your blog. Especially if you are a Christian. This is “in” right now.
  8. Sleepwear and underclothes are the official blogger uniform. All the cool bloggers blog in their underwear. This, of course, poses a problem when you are blogging in a public place like a coffee shop or at work. To avoid arrest, I fool the masses by stealthily wearing my underwear underneath my regular clothes. Mwahaha. (Incidentally, blogging in the nude is not recommended. Most people simply cannot write intelligently when they are naked.)
  9. Do not use your real name. (My name, um, is actually Elmer Sczhlapczkovsky. I went with the moniker to make my name easier to pronounce.)
  10. Break the rules occasionally just to show what an independent rebel-type you are. (Except for the shouting part. DON’T DO THAT.)

Keep these rules, and you are virtually guaranteed success in blogdom. And as you learn…you’ll find that for the most part, other bloggers are helpful, patient, and generally nice folks. 🙂

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Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo. I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.

14 Responses to The Unwritten Rules of Blogging (as I Interpret Them)

  1. Barb

    Jeff, I am so disappointed in you. You forgot one of the basic cardinal rules of being a good blogger. NEVER (sorry for shouting) turn down a meme request…. even if it is a meme for everyone to describe their Aunt’s toenail hygiene. If I only knew how to do the linkey thingy in the comments I would link to my brilliant blog about how I don’t participate in memes unless they truly interest me – thus breaking my own rule and forever falling off the beloved bloggers bandwagon.

    (Another good one is to make sure that everyone that leaves a comment gets a spot in your blogger lineup on the side of your page – thus rendering it virtually useless to direct people to the ones that may truly help with the main message of your blog.)

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  5. Sarah

    Hilarious! Number 7 is my favorite. lol. Oh, the last rule of cool bloggers is never post the unwritten rules of blogging. 😉 (How could you have known, we’ll let it slide this time).

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  7. Jeff McQ

    Co-heir,
    You’re welcome. (And please, no “real” names from now on.) 😀

    Cindy,
    I. don’t. EITHER.

    Sarah,
    I was waiting for someone to catch that I *wrote down* the “unwritten rules”. So in a manner of speaking, they aren’t “unwritten” anymore. Oops. BTW, you wrote one down, too, in your comment. Tsk tsk.

    DP,
    Thank. you. for. not. giving. more. details. about. your. apparel. (Some things are better left unsaid.)
    🙂

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  8. Heidi W

    So, you are cool now.

    And thank you for asking people not to shout. I get headaches when I read all caps since it is so loud and angry sounding. 🙂

    The best part of blogging is that even the ‘uncool’ people can be ‘cool’.

    The worst part of blogging is that any comment you make on someone else’s site is not retrievable. You cannot get it back. So choose your words wisely.

    Thanks!
    Minneola Housnicker

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  11. Heidi W

    co heir… sure it works. Unless you mess up and actually be yourself. Yeah, it is too late for me too. But someone else that is starting out could possibly pull it off. 🙂

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  12. Aaroneous

    Is it a rule to thank people for linking to you?

    I am still so new, I just don’t know.

    Well, just in case…

    THANKS! (Sorry, I get loud sometimes.)

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  13. Mork

    Great rules Jeff!!! – we shall make them Scripture and become your followers!!!

    Oh, shall we apply them as principles or literally?

    NEVER – ( Caps Lock on for effect) – post after having consumed more than 3 glasses of red.

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  14. Jeff McQ

    Co-heir and, um, Ms. “Housnicker”,
    Everyone is cool in the eyes of God. (Or so it probably says somehwere in The Message Bible.)
    🙂

    Ruth,
    Along with number 8 is a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. 🙂

    Aaroneous,
    Suddenly I’m an expert on the rules. So I guess that means I can make them up. Yeah, you should thank people for linking. (‘Course, if you don’t KNOW they linked to you, how do you thank them??? I might be up all night figuring that one out.)

    Honestly, I don’t know if it’s a rule. I just thank people as a courtesy, cos I’m the thanking type. 🙂

    Mork,
    Followers, eh? If I were gonna make a cult out of this, I think I’d want to add a funny type hat to the blogger’s uniform. 🙂

    I agree with your rule; probably wise not to even think about blogging until after the fourth glass. 😀

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