An Interview With Myself on the Occasion of My FIVE HUNDREDTH POST

Last summer, I interviewed myself on the occasion of my two hundredth blog post, and it was so popular (especially with me) that I simply had to invite myself back to celebrate post 500. Here is the conversation I had with myself…

Q: Good to have you back, Jeff. Congratulations on 500 posts!
A: Good to be back, Jeff. How have you been?

Q: I’ll ask the questions, okay?
A: Fine. Shoot.

Q: Can you believe you have written 500 posts in a year and a half?
A: Nope.

Q: Have you always been this obsessive?
A: Yes. I mean…I don’t know how to answer that question. And I’m not sure I appreciate your tone…

Q: Let me rephrase the question. What has prompted you to write 500 posts in a year and a half? Don’t you have anything better to do?
A: Well, apparently, I have this thing where I process things by writing them. I never thought I was much of a journal writer, but the other day we were going through some stuff in the garage, and my wife holds up handfuls and handfuls of notepads I’d written in over the years. Dozens of ’em, most of which I would probably never read again. When I started this blog, I’d been through quite a lot, and I guess I had a lot to say. I hadn’t been journaling very much at that time, so I guess the blog just sort of became my new journal. Except that everyone can read it. And apparently, I’m not alone out here. There are some people out there who are resonating with–

Q: Yeah, whatever. Next question. I hear you’re moving to Denver. Rather suddenly, from the sound of it. What are you running away from?
A: Myself, apparently. What is it with your attitude today?

Q: I’ll ask the questions, if you don’t mind. So why are are you moving so quickly?
A: Well, it’s something we have been thinking about for awhile, but hadn’t really known how to make it happen. So on this last trip to Denver, we found a great area of town, and a way to move there, and we felt drawn to it. I guess you could say we felt God was leading us. So we were prompted to take the leap of faith. And we’re going.

Q: But to do it in less than three weeks? And without a job lined up? Are you out of your freakin’ mind??
A: Hey, let’s keep private conversations private, shall we? The people will start thinking there’s more than one of us in here. Aren’t we supposed to be talking about my 500th post or something?

Q: Please…just let me ask the questions. Um, so…what has the, um, last year and a half been like for you?
A: Jeff, it’s been amazing. I have met some incredible people online since starting this blog, some of whom I’ve wound up meeting personally or talking with on the phone, and some of whom have already become dear friends. Seems a lot of folks are grappling with the same questions I am…and asking a lot of questions that are making me think. I like thinking.

Q: It seems like beginning last summer, blog activity overall began dropping, and a lot of your blogger friends started posting less frequently. Doesn’t it get a little lonely in the blogosphere?
A: Yes, Jeff, it does. But I find that consuming several glasses of alcoh–chocolate milk before blogging helps deaden the pain. And it helps keep my mind sharp, and reduces the nummber of typeose.

Q: Why do you keep doing it?
A: Well, I like chocolate milk. It’s cold and smooth and…

Q: I don’t mean drinking, you dufus. Why do you keep blogging?
A: Oh, I’m sorry. What were we talking about?…Yeah, well, ultimately I started this blog for myself, not for other people. I keep blogging because it helps me, and if someone else gets something out of it, that’s an added bonus. Besides, in a weird sort of way, it’s to my advantage that some of the others aren’t blogging as much. The less they write, the less I feel I have to read, and the more time I have to write. 🙂

Q: I’ve heard that frequent blogging helps attract more readers. Have you found this to be the case?
A: In some ways, yes. But it also depends on the kind of things you post. I’ve found that when I post too many long philosophical pieces all at once, people start writing back about how I’m giving them a headache, and what not. So it’s best to throw in some lighter stuff now and then. But overall, I think posting frequently attracts readers. Although there are some exceptions. Take my friend Kathy, for instance. She’s been blogging as long as I have, almost to the day, but she only posts like once a month or something, and has like a jillion subscribers.

Q: How does she do it?
A: I think it’s magic.

Q: So what do you think the future holds?
A: I am in the biggest transition time of my life. Are you seriously asking that question?

Q: For the last time…
A: Yeah, yeah, you’re asking the questions. Whatev. No, I don’t know what the future holds. I plan to keep blogging, and doing some other writing stuff. Maybe try to make some money freelancing. And I’m looking forward to meeting my new neighbors in Colorado, maybe joining a band or something, play some gigs. You never know. Plus, the invitations to speak are starting to pour in now from all over the globe. I don’t know how much time I’m going to have…

Q: Lying is a sin. You know that, right?
A: Yes, I do. I repent. But isn’t imagining and pretending fun?

Q: I AM THE ONE ASKING THE–
A: Fine. Okay, you know what? You’ve been a jerk to me this whole time. This interview is over. (Where the crap is my agent?…)