During a phone discussion I was part of last night with some fellow bloggers, some interesting observations were made that have me thinking some more this morning. (And I have to credit Pam for sparking most of this thought process.)
There is no doubt that there are at this point a huge number of people–likely numbering in the millions–who are making an exodus from the institutional forms of Christianity. Many have walked away hurt and wounded; some left simply disillusioned. Some have admittedly migrated away from the faith, but a huge portion actually feel their relationship with God has improved with their departure. Many of us–dare I say a significant majority?–left because we were looking for more, because somehow we felt that what the church was presenting could not be a complete or fair picture of all Jesus is, or what the faith is about.
Within the past few years, an interesting dynamic began taking shape on the Internet as a result of this. Many of the leavers now felt isolated from their brethren still carrying the institutional mindsets, and had trouble finding anyone else who felt like they did about things. This, combined with a need to process many of the deep things we were feeling, drew many of us to the Internet, and blogs started popping up all over the place. (Facebook and Twitter were not commonplace yet.) This particular blog was launched probably right on the crest of this wave, or right after its peak. But many of us who were blogging saw a huge amount of activity in our comments, and were furiously commenting on others’ blogs, as we all tried to process what was happening to us. And we quickly became part of a larger community. It wasn’t quite the same as face to face, but at least we didn’t feel so alone in our convictions.
But within the past year and a half or so, the blog posts have become fewer, and the comments are less frequent, too. There’s still activity, but it is not quite as furious. Some of the most prolific bloggers started “taking breaks” or even “saying goodbye”, because they wanted to focus more on real-life stuff. And even the more dedicated bloggers among us admitted that it is sometimes more difficult to come up with something meaningful to write. As we pondered these things in our conversation, someone summed it up: “Maybe people are getting tired of just talking about this.”
And that hit home with me. It’s like we got all this stuff out of our system, onto the table, talked about it, processed it togther, and now it’s like…what do we do now?
I have always seen this whole process, and indeed my whole walk of faith, as a journey rather than a destination. (The destination is for when it’s over.) In this journey of life, nothing is truly static; everything’s in motion, and needs to be. A couple of years ago in my personal life–even while I was blogging faster than people could read the posts–my family’s journey started to feel static, and our nest was being stirred. Even as we processed the fact that God had led us out of the institutional church, we realized that wasn’t the destination of itself–it was unto a purpose. As our definitions of church, ministry, and even faith were redefined, we felt a strong desire to do something with it. And that desire has led us to Denver and to some of the things we’re involved with now–in “real life” as others might say it (although I don’t consider cyberspace to be fake–you all reading this are real people, aren’t you?).
The thing is, in our interactions outside the walls with a larger community, we’re now seeing possibilities with faith and ministry and the shaping of the church that are bringing a huge amount of healing and restoration to our souls, and a renewed sense of passion–much more than I could reveal in one post. And as this has happened, I see my relationship with my blog taking a different turn.
I still blog about this stuff, as diligently as I can–but I find I no longer really do it as much for my own sake. It’s here if I need it, but I’ve really come to grips with much of what I was grappling with, and am now seeing myself move to the next leg of the journey. I find my motive for blogging now has more to do with others who are reading it, who might be experiencing similar things on their journey, or who might just be entering the “great unknown” of transition. I think it’s important to maintain the blog as a connection point with the friends I’ve made, as well as the new folks who are continuing to find it. I have always been the kind of person, I guess, who experiences something and then looks back to try and help others who might experience it after me on the journey. (Like, “Hey, you folks back there, watch out. There’s a huge cliff to our right over here!”) That kind of thing. 🙂
So this buildup is not to say the blog is going away. The blog stays. It just serves a different purpose now. And I also have to say the focus is probably going to change. As I experience the next leg of this journey, I’m very likely to be using this blog as a connection point to share the new stuff I’m learning, for anyone who might benefit from it. And like I said…if I need to process something personally, the blog is here for that as well.
Believe it or not, there really is a point to all this rambling. The point is–for all of us who are in various stages of leaving, the leaving isn’t the destination. It’s a journey, and it needs to be leading somewhere. We need to be challenging ourselves: what do we do now? After the deconstructing of our faith, there needs to be a re-construction. Our faith, life, and mission need to be re-shaped according to what God has taught us. And if we are truly “out here” to follow Christ–eventually He will actually lead us someplace. For all we are un-learning and learning anew, there needs to be a tangible outflow of that in our lives. The purpose here can’t simply be to create a modified theology–something else to just talk about. It needs to flesh out somehow, or it’s just as useless as the stuff we left behind.
If you are feeling stale in this journey, it’s really time to be seeking God for what His purposes are for the next season for you–what do you do with what He is teaching you?
And a word of caution: that might not be an easy process. It wasn’t for me. I cried out to God for a long time before anything started to make sense. But when we seek Him, we find Him–when we search for Him with all our hearts. And not only is He starting to show me and my family–but we are compelled to do something with it. I dare say, if I didn’t muster the courage to do something in my own life with all I’ve talked about here over the past couple of years, I would lose my right to speak. Talk is cheap, as the saying goes.
So let us seek God. Let us follow Christ. Let the question tarry in our souls: what do we do now? And when He shows us–may we take action. This is a key ingredient to the reshaping of the church for a new season.
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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Although I am definitely a latecomer to the conversation, I can see how God has been stirring my own nest for several years.
In my case, I think the pulling way back from (not necessarily leaving) the institutionalized church came after some of the reconstruction started. As I began to get a broader picture of what God is up to, and started getting involved in some very practical expressions of the love of Christ, I realized the church just wasn't on the same page.
My deconstruction almost seems to have started after the reconstruction. Perhaps that will cause extra problems!!
I have begun to find myself as I read (and write), so can totally agree with your thoughts here.
I'm glad that I have already been involved in some action, even as I continue to have conversations. If we don't get involved with living out our new convictions, we are no better than those we have moved away from.
While your processing and writing has been very encouraging to me, and my family – I think we meet you on the next page as well! When we first left 'the traditional church', it seemed, that's all we could talk about, all we could think about, all we dreamt about, etc. And when we would get together with like-minded friends, our conversations would gravitate more and more toward that same topic – deconstruction, detox, purging…
It seems, after all that, we really have broken through to the other side. Not that we have necessarily changed the old ways, but we no longer participate in them, so they aren't effecting us the same way they were. And because our lives are being lived, in a different way, in different circles, and continuing to move forward, we are finding the need to process, less and less.
I believe the time… and processing, and dialogue are SO important, for everyone on this journey, but I agree, there's a time for everything.
Networks have been made and relationships have been formed, outside the traditional framework, that can bring momentum to this tidal wave of freedom!
So, thank you for writing … and continuing to write – and Jesus, bring on the 'life-living'!
well thanks for continuing it on! 🙂 Happy to be here.
I 'felt' that wave you're talking about… my spiritual journey truly started May 2007 — and then I started reading blogs and exploring online early 2008 and I found that many of the blogs I was reading had just started and I did feel a bit 'stirring' going on at that point….. and then a slow down too… so I definitely saw all that too.
i just started being a full follower of your blog — it just shows how much God has changed me -because I had NO NO NO clue what you were talking about in the beginning and it didn't spark anything – and now I'm like WOW I totally GET what he's sayin – even when I look back at old posts.
I came to kathy escobar's blog first and found many people that way and I remember being the outsider at her blog and not undersatnding anybody – and how God has shifted things is amazing…
I love how God just aligns everything as it's supposed to – how He can connect so many people at perfect timing – just mind boggling!! 🙂
It is pretty amazing what God can do and how He can use anything for good or bad. So much bad on the internet.. SO much good! 🙂 I'm so thankful for all the blog friends I've found.
thanks 🙂
that was an interesting conference call last night and just the energy of talking with you and other spiritual thinkers helped me process some of my perspective about my own niche in the great big ocean of the internet.
I have to head out the door (again!) at the end of my busy day, but hopefully when I return home tonight I'll have a bit of juice left in me to do some of my own outloud blogging on this topic. For indeed we have ridden a wave, and for sure we are all looking out at the surf watching for when the next one comes in. And when it does, we wanna catch that one, too!
Great thoughts, Jeff. I have learned that there has to be something more…I've had my tantrums, been bitter, angry, all that jazz…worked through it…now what?
Not to say I don't still have an occasional rant, but I'm really focused now on asking "OK where has this all brought me? Because if I'm no different in practice than I ever was, what's the point?"
So I'm trying to move beyond the past into the next thing.
Al, (nice Blogger pic, btw)
It actually seems like your process is fairly similar to a lot of us–it's possible that the deconstruction/reconstruction thing is a little oversimplified. There's bound to be some bleedover. For some of us (both you and I included) it seems like it went something like this:
–Discontent with church-as-is
–Get an glimpse of a better way
–Try to live out the "better way" in the institutional church context
–Institutional church doesn't like it much
–Begin withdrawing from IC
Sound vaguely familiar? 🙂
schramfam,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here…look forward to seeing you on the next page. 🙂
Randi Jo,
It is interesting, the little differences that bring us to the same place. For many of us, we found ourselves so displaced, got on the blogosphere and found others who felt as we did, and it was like "Wow…I'm NOT crazy." 🙂 For you, it seems like you didn't relate to a lot of what was being said at first, but you stayed engaged and it grew on you. Kudos for not writing it off all at once. 🙂
Pam,
I think the reason I keep hanging out in this ocean is that I'm looking for another wave. The last one was so cool! 🙂 Thanks for the thought-provoking conversation, and I look forward to your blog post.
Erin,
My experience thus far has been that just when we think we're all "over it", another layer of hurt comes to the surface and needs to be dealt with. Just letting you know I can relate. 🙂 A lot of times recently my breakdowns (which I still have) are more about "What in the WORLD have I got myself into?" 😀
Hi, Newbie here!
My husband somehow found this blog and directed a group of us that are doing a private blog to discuss this very same journey. I will have to take some time and go back over some of your old posts.
In this brief review it does sound like we are riding out a similar wave.
Your 4th to last paragraph is what caught both our attention. We have been out of the church in so many ways for years. Physically out for 1 1/2 . Yet we remain connected to many of our local churches. I even teach at a former church's Internship program. When I visited our last church they invited me to participate in their out reach and lead a team. It seems kind of crazy. My husband has coined a term "We can be in the church but not of it." =] We want to function and be a part of the body of Christ but we just don't want to deal with all the old wine skin stuff.
So my point to all this is, I love God, I love the body of Christ, I can't tolerate (mostly because I am bored) the institution. Now how do we walk this out? Your fourth to last paragraph is right where we are? What does this look like? How do we move on, and what do we move on to?
That is why we started our blog 🙂
My question for the last year or so has been "God, what are you doing?" Jesus only did what he saw the Father doing…it only makes sense for us to join in with that.
Pardon me for just barging in here =]
finally posted a few thoughts. not as thorough as you have done here, but a few thoughts that you might like to read.
have a great weekend!
I wonder if in part it applies to all blogs, not just those like yours? Back 8-10 years ago, before blogs got going, the two-way email discussion list was a previous form of online community. Yahoogroups as a discussion medium hardly seems to happen these days, and works mainly as a one-way announcement list.
Given that we all have finite time, I suspect that Facebook is scooping up a lot of people who might previously have found community and help within a few blogs. Don't know if research would confirm that.
Blessings
Tony
a very wise Post … I concur.
Woman who is…
I relate to your current questionings, particularly about how to reconcile your convictions with continuing to interact with people in the institutional setting. I think that looks different for everyone; for me, it really required a de-tox from institutions for awhile, and now involves a loose connection with one while I help out with worship there. Thanks for the remarks; feel free to barge in anytime. 🙂
Pam,
Great post. Thanks.
Mark,
Still here, eh? 🙂 Thanks, bro!
Tony (sorry, didn't mean to skip over you),
I think there is a lot of this that truly does have to do with the dynamics of what people are doing on the Internet, not just in our particular discussions. I think the challenge is to be aware of what people are doing, where they are having their discussions, and being willing to adapt–whether it be a divine shift, or just a natural effect of what people are doing. For Christians in general, adapting isn't something we particularly enjoy. 🙂
Thanks for chiming in.