So I’ve been pondering how my thinking has changed over the past few years, and how I can’t stomach so much of the Christian-ese lingo and churchy behavior anymore–which is funny because I used to be all about that stuff not too very long ago. I don’t go near Christian television anymore, I don’t listen to Christian radio hardly at all, and I usually can’t stand to listen to sermons anymore. And I feel very out of place in most church meetings.
And I know why I’m like this now. And it’s not that I’ve abandoned my faith.
It’s that I’ve grown out of the subculture of Christianity. I don’t have any use for it anymore.
As Christians, and as the church, we have our own little subculture. There’s a whole lingo, a whole set of protocols. Just as I tongue-in-cheeked my way through the unwritten rules of blogging a couple of days ago…the church has developed its own set of unwritten rules. And we know if someone is “in” or “out” by how they talk, or if they “know the code”. (Spoken pirate-like for effect.)
Now, I know some of that is inherent in any group that gathers together. But it gets in our way when we realize that the gospel is something that crosses all cultural barriers. We weren’t supposed to make a clique out of this thing; we are supposed to take this into every culture. I don’t think we can do that effectively when we superimpose the Christian subculture onto everything we do. And that’s why I’m kind of leery of it. Not only do I think it’s unneccesary, but I think it’s messing with our ability to fulfill the Great Commission.
Let me give a quick example. There are Christians who believe that when they go out in public and say things like “Praise the Lord! Glory to God! Hallelujah! Bless you, brother!” that they are being a witness for Christ because they are being open about their faith. But those sayings, which probably began as legitimate expressions of praise, have devolved into catch-phrases, a lingo that identifies us. These days, when most non-Christians hear someone talk that way, they immediately classify that person as someone who, at best, they can’t relate to; and at worst, someone who would judge them for their choices. Our lingo simply categorizes us as a subculture, and the only folks who might be impressed are…other Christians who talk that way. Kind of like a bird call.
Subculture. Get it?
So I’m not forsaking faith by being turned off by this kind of stuff. I guess I’m just looking for something more real, a way of speaking and living my faith that is more accessible to the people around me, that will give me more opportunity to actually share my faith in a meaningful way. If I’m no longer impressed by the Christian-ese lingo, how can I expect non-believers to be? This isn’t about forsaking Scriptural principles at all; it’s more about learning to de-construct all the extra trappings of religion and subculture that we’ve added on to our faith, the stuff that’s unneccessary. Just another way I’m learning to travel light.
How about you? Can you relate? Any other examples of Christian subculture you know of that might be getting in our way?
Totally understand. I was angry when I started becoming part of the culture.
I have a friend who always answers the phone with . . . “Praise the Lord! This is . . . ” For him, it’s a habit. Like the rote prayers I hear before meals when amongst certain folk.
What the heck do they mean? Will God even listen to that?
I wonder . . .
It is human nature to tribe up, and creating lingo and secret handshakes and such is how tribe members identify each other. But the outward signs that let members of any tribe identify each other can be off-putting and even threatening to outsiders.
But another problem with these signs is that they can be a barrier to being genuine within the tribe. They can become the stuff of our connection, preventing real connection. So we toss around lingo like “you’ve got to let go and let God” rather than modeling this in our lives, allowing enough transparency (and the risk that goes with that!) that other Christians around us can see how this might be accomplished.
Jeff,
One thing that comes to mind right away is the church face. You now that false smile that Christians use to try and make everyone think that everything is always wonderful.
How can your average person relate to someone like that. Talk about a turn off. You have to be real if you want to have relationships with real people.
People need to see God’s people living in the same reality that they live in. Otherwise, how will they know what kind of a difference that Jesus makes in our lives.
Gary
Amen brother! Preach it!
“Cloneliness is next to Godliness, right!”
-Sam
Jeff, bang on. A rule of the Christian subculture is to always put on a happy face and pretend life is always great (I’m livin in victory, brother!) I think this also alienates us from others, especially those who may need help the most. It’s an unrealistic facade that produces shame in people who are unable to portray themselves as “having it all together.” If we present ourselves as perfect people with perfect lives, the only way needy people will respond to us is by feeling that they cannot measure up. (I don’t know why we feel the need to pretend to be perfect, except for maybe our pride).
Also, I think the politicization of our faith has gotten in our way. We see God as not only American, but as a Republican (generally speaking). People that don’t fit into those two categories are viewed as enemies. It’s difficult to see someone as Jesus does (and love them as He does) when you view them as an ‘enemy.’ I think our ultimate loyalty has to be to His kingdom – our ultimate citizenship is heavenly. Which makes us fellow citizens with lots of different folks around the world.
Jason,
For me…the subculture was where I found acceptance, where I fit in. So for me, the hard part was when I started wising up to the issues and then began to get rejected by those who had formerly accepted me.
Tysdaddy,
*shudder* I know people like that, too. “How ya doin’?” “BLESSED!” (pronounced with two syllables here in the south). 🙂 Well-meaning folk, I’m sure; but it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard to me now.
Jimgrey,
*Excellent* point about the tribal logo/protocol preventing genuineness within the tribe itself.
Gary and Sarah,
You both made reference to the “Christian face” and facade. This reminds me of a post I wrote early in this blog called “Superhero Christianity”. Good points, both.
Oh, Sam, don’t get me started…
“I’m grateful that they showed the way cos I could never know the way to serve Him on my own/I want to be a clone.” 🙂
OH.
Oh, oh, oh.
This is so right where I’m at. I wish I had something more to say than, “Oh,” but you’ve hit a big part of the core of why I’ve left the traditional evangelical church. It’s not that I think it’s bad…I know it really works for some, has brought life to dead bones for some…but for me, and I was fully immersed (Bible College and then ministry as a “pastor’s wife,” for 8 years) and played the whole game… It started out as life but it ended with me broken, bleeding all over the orange carpet, struggling to pick up the pieces, not even really sure what happened.
I am allergic to Christian-ese. I try to be very nice about it. I want to cringe everytime it’s used, but I know that my old friends don’t even know they’re using it. I’m just done. All done.
And I’m enjoying being done, after a year or so of being a little tormented/bitter/raging/depressed/self-condemned, etc…all of that began to decrease and something beautiful is on the increase.
I just met with a little group of friends this morning…we sat in a circle, we drank in a half hour of silence (stolen from the Quaker’s) listening to the Spirit and chewing on Scripture, then a bit of time conversing (short, only a few people had anything they felt like saying), then some LOUD singing, people picking out songs and me on the guitar making it funky (the kids and the glow in their eyes as they sang, “I Belong to Jesus!” at the top of their lungs made me almost bust up crying more than a few times), and then, to close, we gathered in a tight circle around a little table and took the Lord’s Supper together.
As we ate lunch afterwards, we just looked at eachother in amazement. It was so…I don’t know…GOOD. Like a good rich wholesome meal. It was so what we’ve been looking for…no club gimmicks, no lingo, no textbook/workbook answers, no one-person-up-front telling everyone what they have to think/say/do… White-bread Christianity…fills me up but has no substance. I just can’t do it anymore.
Woah. This was a lot longer of a comment than I’d planned…
Molly,
Guess I’m just trailing along behind you on the internet here. 🙂
Thanks for the remarks. Your description of your meeting today was great. Almost wish I’d been there. Especially now. Around 100 degrees in Tulsa today. 🙂
I totaly disagree with all of this because Christians are spirit beings the4 they are not of this world, nw i dont understand why would they want to fit in with the world. Perfection is something Christians are born with because their father in Heaven is perfect, i mean why must we stagger or be shaken by passing challenges. If Christian-ese is a subculture then anythng out of Christian-ese is a subculture as well.
Kgomotso,
It isn't about fitting in with the world. It's about NOT fitting in for the right reasons, not the wrong ones. Adapting our own private lingo that shuts the world out, for example, has nothing to do with the image of Christ in us or the Scriptures, and therefore has nothing to do with being "not of this world". The difference in us must be Christ, not a subculture we have created to protect ourselves.
I'm also honestly concerned with your theology here, although you're entitled to believe it if you choose to. We are ALL spirit beings, not just Christians. We were ALL created in God's image, though in a fallen state. And while you may be correct that a seed of perfection is in us as a "new creation", the whole journey of discipleship is about working that out in our lives over time. You show me a Christian who doesn't ever struggle, and I'll show you a liar. Not even Paul was exempt (see Romans 7).