I like to look at a thing from lots of different angles–both close-up and as part of the big picture.
As I’ve said in earlier posts…I believe that the church is on the cusp of a great shift. I think the growing number of individuals who are finding themselves detatching from institutional Christianity–although they often feel isolated and alone–are actually the beginning of a major structural re-shaping of the church.
I said, the beginning of it.
What we are seeing is a de-stabilization of church structures that have stood for many centuries, but were not part of the original church. What the church will look like in a few years (or decades) is really anyone’s guess. The structure we’ve known no longer feels safe; but what will be has not yet really appeared.
This is the in-between. We’re in-between what has been and what will be. And no one feels that more acutely than those who have already been displaced by the system.
This thread runs right through the blogosphere, as many of these folks are writing about their experiences, their concerns, their doubts, their fears, and their hopes. Some are still attending institutional churches; some have dropped out. Some are exploring more organic forms of meeting together; others are skeptical of any structured meetings whatsoever. But uncertainty runs through all of it, like nobody really knows anything for sure anymore. In between.
And this in-between experience is not unique to disillusioned churchgoers, either. One segment that probably not too many folks think about is the church leaders (formerly known as “clergy”) who are also increasingly finding themselves displaced. Because church departures often happen over wounding, church leadership are often quietly viewed as an enemy, representatives of a broken, oppressive system. But many church leaders are sincere, gifted people who view the ministry as much more than a paycheck. God is opening the eyes and hearts of many of these folks as well; and when He does, they face a unique set of dilemmas.
Glenn over at Re-dreaming the Dream posted yesterday about Lost Pastors–pastors who grow disillusioned with either their particular church or with the church structures in general, and find themselves displaced. Their struggle is complicated by the fact that their gifts and passions do not die, but outside the system they often do not know how to reinvent themselves. And this goes not just for pastors, but worship leaders, youth workers–anyone who has found a comfortable place in the church systems. Now, they too are in between.
Just about anytime I’ve had the courage (or stupidity) to broach this subject with church pastors, I can instantly see the fear in their eyes. They can immediately draw the line in their minds: if the structure is dismantling…what will become of them? It’s as if so many leaders still in the institutions somehow sense what is coming, but because for so many of them, this structure is all they’ve known, and their whole identity is wrapped up in it…it’s almost too much to take. For them, the in-between is coming.
In the in-between, sometimes things can get very discouraging, because everything feels up in the air, unsettled, and you just don’t know what to do with yourself. But to me, that’s when it helps to step back and look at the big picture. “In-between” is a tough place to be, but “in-between” also means it won’t always be this way. We’re not at the destination; we’re on the road. In time, things will begin to make sense again. The gifts and passions God has placed in all of us (not just the leaders) will not die; they will find a place of purpose outside the walls. Because those gifts never really were meant to support an institution; they were meant to bless people–the people who are the church, and the people who haven’t yet found their way.
We don’t need to fear the in-between. God has a plan, and I believe we’re on the way to something amazing. We just need to have patience, and keep an eye on the horizon.
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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Jeff- These are challenging times for those of us who have to try to find our way through unchartered waters, though I agree with you that God has has a beautiful future for his followers (including pastor types and former pastor types) and for his church, as well.
Jeff, I read Glenn’s post to my husband yesterday. We ‘get’ what he is saying. Our background is similar. Marsh is a Southwestern grad, had wanted to be a pastor since he was 9. We pastored full time until about 20 years ago where we moved here and started a service business. Marsh worked hard. It was dirty work. But some of the frustration was allayed by the “church” around us and him still being able to love and encourage people – his gift. It was frustrating though still (constantly) to not be able to do what he loved full time. I now run the business and he has moved on to being a financial rep. (Much easier work.) Yesterday, after stopping by to see a former leader who had left our ‘church’ 5 years ago (our worship leader, btw) this man said to him, “Thanks so much for stopping by, you are the one person I know with a true pastors gift.” Marsh turned around and said to himself, “What am I doing with my life trying to sell people stocks and bonds?”
I tell that story because I’m not sure it gets better for these guys. The institution made everything so easy. You had an instant group that looked to you to do the gift that was in you. Glenn referred to it yesterday as being like a junkie where the “varied expectations that most congregations have for their pastors feed that need very nicely.” The church makes being a pastor (or worship leader or teacher or….) sooooo easy and I don’t think it will ever come that easy again outside the system. Those who have a gift of teaching will not have an instant crowd to teach. Worship leaders will not have a ready made group to lead and Pastors will not have a single group to pastor. We have always said that one on one ministry is important. Now we are finding out if we truly believed that or not.
So I get the idea of being in-between like you said but to a large extentI think is also the end of the church as we know it and with that our positions in it that made it so easy to “do” and “be” our giftings.
Glenn and Barb,
I fear that my posting may have come off as more trite and easy-answer-ish than I had intended. I did not mean to downplay the very real sense of loss that leaders face when they leave the system–or the quandary they are in of “what do I do now?” My intent was to encourage. If I did the opposite, forgive me.
The truth is, I am walking more closely to both of your situations than you might realize–in the area of worship, but not only that. I feel these things, too, and I definitely know the sense of loss.
The reason I believe there HAS to be a fresh way to express these gifts is the simple fact that the gifts still exist in us. (One reason I still believe in Biblical leadership is that there are still people gifted to lead.) I do not believe God would gift people this way only to have them waste away in disillusionment while the church goes the way of the dinosaur. I simply could not face getting up each morning if I did not believe there would be a new way to express what God has placed within me, and that each day must bring me closer to finding it.
I think as with everything else, our gifts must be re-thought–redefined, not rejected. We have seen the church (and our place in it) through a specific lens for a long time, and we’re in the process now of changing lenses. The very idea of being “in-between” is that what is behind is no longer acceptable, but what is ahead is unclear. But I do have hope that when we see things through a new lens, a lot of things that don’t make sense just now will come into focus. I have hope that not only will our gifts find new expression, but also the gifts of many others who had been stifled by the *very same system* that so enabled us as leaders–I hope they will find release, too.
I hope I’m not digging myself deeper by saying these things. I truly understand the gravity of our situations, and am living it along with you. I just had a desire to inject some hope into the conversation, and that’s why I wrote what I did. I hope what I’ve said here puts it into clearer perspective.
Thanks for the great comments.
Jeff,
You did not come off as trite or having an easy answer in any way, shape or form. Nor did you downplay the loss. You are addressing a very hard issue with many former leaders in the institution. I know you feel the loss of all of this also and that is the reason I trust you when you write about this subject.
I’m afraid that my comment was disheartening to read. I’m sorry. I guess we have kept waiting for “The Next Thing” to appear around the corner for so long that I’m a bit tired of all of it and not so sure it is going to be there like I would like it. In so many ways, the whole next thing was preached so much at my old church that I react to the whole mindset with a bit of frustration.
There is hope out there. I’m convinced that when I get my eyes off what was and onto the simplicity of what the Father is doing right now, that hope will return and some of this will start to make more sense to me. Thanks for you patience.
Barb,
Thanks for the second comment. I’ll extend grace to you for being discouraged and frustrated if you extend grace to me for being paranoid. 🙂
I fully understand your reflex to the “new thing” mentality. Having read your post about the prophetic, I am quite familiar with that scene. Don’t get me started. 🙂 Just let me say…there is a new thing, but it is GOD’s new thing, not man’s.
I appreciate the honest dialogue.
Jeff, no worries and no offense taken.
“I do not believe God would gift people this way only to have them waste away in disillusionment while the church goes the way of the dinosaur. I simply could not face getting up each morning if I did not believe there would be a new way to express what God has placed within me, and that each day must bring me closer to finding it.”
Wow, do identify with that!
Jeff and Barb, we all in this together and I think that we are moving from grieving to dreaming and doing. Of course, it is a new world for us. So, we really need each other’s companionship and the benefit of each other’s experiences and insights on this journey. I am glad to be traveling with the likes of both of you.
I am afraid I know exactly what you are talking about. I have been a “professional” pastor, youth pastor, ministry institute instructor, worship leader, staff pastor, camp speaker……… and I have been wounded along the way, and wounded many others in the process.
The result in our lives (me and my family) is that over the years – moving from hurt to hurt, we have become less trusting of the new people we meet who recognize our talents and literally beg for us to get more and more involved in “their program” and “vision”.
For now, we are still involved in the institutional church structure – not completely on the sidelines, but not completely plugged-in. The thing we struggle with is that we have become wary and numb from abuse. Much of our experience in the past has been that Ministry = Abuse + Pain + Broken relationships. Quite simply, more than half the time it wasn’t pretty.
This has led us to serve in lay ministry rather than “professionally”.
So what’s to become of my Bible College degree and my 3 years at Fuller????? What of all the training, all the books, all the practicums…….? None of it really matters in the long run.
We still want to serve and make a difference, somehow. I can relate to some of this sense of loss, but in some sick way, I really believe we are much better off now than when we thought we had it all together serving in “the ministry”.