Resurrection Ramblings

A follow-up post to Thursday’s entry is in the works; look for it in the next couple of days.

This day–Easter, or Resurrection Sunday if you prefer another term–is the day we reflect upon, and celebrate, the risen Christ. After all the suffering He willingly endured on our behalf, after the horrific death on the cross…He rose on the third day, proving to all the universe that He overcomes the power of death and sin.

I’m incredibly grateful for this–not just on this day, but every day. But if I can be honest…right now my life feels a whole lot more like the Good Friday part of the story.

Transition times are never easy. Everything feels uncertain in the in-between places in our lives. I get that; this isn’t the first time I’ve been in this place. And I get a little better, I think, at weathering the turbulence every time, because I know to hold things loosely, and I know where to put my trust–although it’s still easier said than done.

Knowing that doesn’t make it feel any better, though.

Transition really signifies the end of one season and the beginning of another. That’s why the marriage and death announcements in the newspapers sometimes use the headline “transitions.” Right now, what I feel like is that I am at the end of one season that is dying, but the new season has not presented itself yet. It feels like everything around me is dying, slowly and painfully–to the point that is becoming excruciatingly uncomfortable. And I know that there is a new season, and I have more and more of a picture of what it is going to look like…but at this moment in time, I have not the slightest clue how to cross over into it. There seems to be a huge chasm between the now and the not yet, and yet on my side of the chasm the fire is burning everything to a crisp. I feel like if I do not find the bridge soon, I will be consumed.

Another analogy people like to use to describe seasons like this is “stirring the nest.” Like when young eagles have learned to fly and are ready to leave the nest, the mother eagle starts removing the padding from the nest, revealing the hard rocky places underneath–making it increasingly uncomfortable until the little birdies want to leave and start over on their own. I also understand that concept. But here’s the thing–I don’t need to be convinced. I got to that place a long time ago; all I want is to get into the next thing, and yet the nest gets more and more uncomfortable. So I’m kind of going, “God, what’s the point of all this? I get it; it’s time for change! Let’s do it!”

But how?

See where I’m at? 🙂

Yeah, I get it; necessity is the mother of invention and all that. Somewhere deep inside, I do know that some point (soon, hopefully) the moment will “click” with me, and I’ll see what all this means, and what to do about it. And I do know God is with me, sees the end from the beginning. That’s really what keeps me going. I’m just saying it’s difficult in that place where it looks like all around is dying, and there is nothing left in the now, but you don’t have the slightest idea how to cross over into the “not yet” and make it “now.”

So today, I think this is why reflecting on the resurrection gives me hope. Because even though I don’t particularly see my new season arising just yet…I know that in Christ, and for the Christ-follower, death is always unto life. Even Jesus struggled in His humanness before going to the cross, knowing what was to come. But the Scripture says He did it “for the hope set before Him”–because He knew even then that death was not the end.

For the new to come…the old must die. And so–even allowing myself to grieve–I embrace the death of the old.

Because this day reminds me that the new is coming.

Wayward Son

Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo. I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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