On How We Ought Not to Just Talk About the Bad Stuff, and Start Doing Something Different

Conversations from both here and over at Communitas Collective have got my mind running, so thought I’d better jot these thoughts down before I forget. 🙂

My blogger friend Kansas Bob, and newer blogger friend Al, together sort of made the point that it is not really enough for those of us disenfranchised folk to just point out the stuff that’s wrong with institutional forms of church…that we need to live out the positive effects of change in our lives. I truly agree with this, and I think it’s important to process that idea, to embrace the truth of it more than just verbally assent to it.

I have a few thoughts on this, and in setting them down here, I hope it does not come off as a defense of my own blog. Rather, it’s me taking a bit of mental inventory, to see whether there is a balance between confronting what is wrong and seeking out what is right. So in no particular order, here are some of the thoughts that are coming to mind:

1. It is important not to shrink back from discussing what is wrong with the way we “do church” even when it makes people uncomfortable. Many Christians do not consider anything to be wrong with the church as we have made it; others have a gut feeling that something is amok, but feel alone in their convictions. Talking about these things is important because first of all, how can we find a better way if we don’t first admit our way isn’t working? And second…it does help us to know we aren’t the only ones seeing it. That said–this is sort of like a grieving process, dealing with a death of sorts, and different ones of us are in different stages–denial, anger, bargaining, and acceptance. Those further along the process are more ready to discuss positive alternatives and aren’t going to want to keep talking about the negatives. (In fact, I’m rapidly coming to that place myself.) But I have also seen that by continuing to bring up these issues, I’ve had several rounds of new visitors in the past 2 years who are just coming into that process and are greatly relating to what is being said. I think it’s important to allow these people the same chance to process things by reading the blog as I have had by writing it.
2. If all we do is talk about the negatives, the process will remain incomplete. Exposing what is wrong with the church is not the solution in itself–it is only the warning alarm. If there’s a wrong way to do something, then there is a right way, also–usually more than one right way. Part of our personal process has to be a willingness to seek out those better ways, and then live in the truth of those ways. On this blog, you can usually identify this part of the process when I start asking “what if?” That’s me dreaming about what a better way might look like. (This conviction has also been a huge part of our recent move to Denver–an attempt to put feet to what we have learned and what we are dreaming about.)
3. Admittedly, the negatives I discuss are usually specific, and the positive alternatives are usually vague. There’s a very good reason for this. The things that are wrong are entrenched in our church systems, and we have a tangible experience with them–so it’s understandable that we talk about them in detail. They are the past, the part of this that is 20/20. It’s the part we know. The positive alternatives–not so much. They are the future, the part we don’t see as clearly. Plus, in coming out of a system filled with religious absolutes, the last thing we want to do is create another set of religious absolutes by claiming “THIS is the way it should be done.” Whatever the better way is, we each need to own that revelation and that journey as God leads us. So when I talk about a better way to do something, I usually make it very personal–“this is what is working for me these days.” And I usually let people fill in the details, because it is still a process that needs flexibility.
4. This cannot be overstated: Any community that is based on a mutual dislike of someone or something else is not healthy and will not last for long–and that includes online community. I have never intended this to be a “church bashing” blog, and if it has come off that way to more than a few readers, then I’m sorry for the miscommunication. I would hope that any community that forms around this conversation (which is certainly not limited to this blog) is not based on a distaste for what has been, but a mutual desire to find something better. And ultimately the glue that binds the church together is Christ alone. A lot of the processing done here is about stripping off the extraneous, unnecessary stuff of our faith, to get back to Christ as center–the heart of all that matters about the church. That’s the goal, anyway–even if we sometimes fall short of it.

Wayward Son

Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo. I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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