Kathy over at the carnival in my head wrote a vulnerable post about her continuing struggle with getting her “buttons pushed” by “big church” goings-on. This statement pretty much sums up her feelings:
“i can easily live with atheists, notorious sinners, the least of these, and almost anything in between. the people i have the hardest time living with are the ones who are dedicated to a system that i fundamentally disagree with. how can i offer them as much grace as i have myself received and can pass on to many others?”
This idea has continued to roam around in my brain. I left a comment over there, but thought I’d expand on it here.
For those of us who are in various stages of exit from the institutional church systems, it gets very easy to have an us-versus-them mentality regarding the institutions we’re leaving. We get a sense of righteous indignation about the injustices we see, and we have a passion to remedy them. And the sense of rejection and abandonment we might feel in that process is like fuel to the fire, complicating an already chaotic range of emotions.
I found it very intriguing and refreshing that Kathy could essentially stop herself long enough to say, “Hey…as ticked off as I am at those systems, the people in them are still worthy of the same grace I show to others.” And that’s true…Jesus died for all of us, not just the ones who don’t piss us off. So how do we respond to that? How do we show the same amount of love and grace to saint and sinner, so to speak?
I think like so many things we deal with, the answer lies in Jesus’ example–and His example is a little more varied than we might think, because although His love for people was consistent…He dealt with different kinds of people in different ways. And some of His responses were surprising, even shocking.
For example…for the woman caught in adultery, the Pharisees confronted Him about what should be done with her. His response was total mercy. He called off the sharks by saying “Let him without sin cast the first stone.” Then He told the woman: “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
But this same Jesus who showed this much grace and restraint also took a whip and turned over the money-changers’ tables at the Temple. He stood in the Temple courts and openly confronted the Pharisees and Sadducees for their hypocrisy. He used phrases like “brood of vipers” and “whitewashed tombs” when referring to them.
The same Jesus. Two different types of people. Two different responses.
And yet, He loved them all. He ate dinner (a sign of relationship and intimacy) with both Pharisees and tax-collectors.
So what does this mean? I think it means that love has different expressions for different purposes. There is a time when love shows great mercy, and there is a time when love confronts. Love should be for all, but there is not a one-size-fits-all way to love people. The key is to know what response love should take.
With Jesus, I see a fairly consistent pattern. With the down-and-out sinner, He always showed a great deal of mercy and acceptance; His kindness is what led them to repentance (as with Zaccheus the tax-collector).
But for the religious crowd, Jesus took a different tone. In many cases in Jesus’ ministry, it seems that His tone was confrontational toward them. And I personally think it is because religion puts us to sleep and inoculates us to true life, and the only thing that can rouse us from our self-satisfaction is a good kick in the pants.
I had a preacher friend who used to use Acts 2, and Peter’s message at Pentecost, as a formula for the gospel. He talked about the confrontational tone of Peter’s sermon (“This Jesus whom you crucified”) as an indicator of how we should be bold and confrontational when sharing the gospel with people. I took sharp disagreement with him because he had taken one passage and one message and formed a whole theology off of it. He did not take into account that the people in Jerusalem that Peter confronted in his message were–you guessed it–the religious Jews. There is not a one-size-fits-all way to show the love of Christ. Peter’s sermon was appropriate for the moment, but not necessarily the way to reach everyone.
By the same token, we do not need to be guilted into being sugary-sweet toward the religious just because we show mercy to the prostitute or the drug addict on the street. Jesus was not always confrontational with the religious crowd, but He didn’t back down when it was called for. Love has many expressions. I think the key element in every response, though, is love. I say this because, as I mentioned before, sometimes our personal woundings complicate our emotions, and sometimes we have to unravel that in order to know whether a confrontation is from love or from wounding. And that part has to wait for another post. 🙂
By the way–there’s one other group we should look at–the disciples. With these, Jesus actually had a blend of responses. He sometimes rebuked them, sometimes affirmed them–but always loved them. Passionately.
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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Nice thoughts Jeff.
I think that the key is not to stereotype and project our woundings on folks that had nothing to do with our wounds. Sometimes we get caught up in our conceptions and forget that not all people who attend, or don’t attend, a certain expression of church model the stereotype that we have of that group.
Jeff,
Great post! Indeed, I read Kathy’s and thought it excellent. You add many excellent thoughts here. I fully agree that Christ expresses His Love colorfully, not in black and white terms. He shows love to fit each person unique and each situation, but no matter how, even if it’s to bring correction, He always does so in Love, to bring our hearts into harmony with Him.
Hey, if you can, please drop into my blogpage and post a comment for today’s “Birthday Blog.”
Blessings,
~Amy 🙂
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com
KB,
That is a good point. When we project our woundings on other folks that don’t deserve it, it’s usually what we call a “wound on a wound”. It happens when that person happens to touch a sore spot in our soul and causes an inordinate amount of pain–usually *reminding* us of someone or something else–and we sort of dump on them. It sucks when we do that. 🙂
Amy,
Done. Happy Birthday.