In the events that have unfolded in the past couple of weeks, I’ve been forced to face an uncomfortable realization about myself:
I’m a freakin’ hypocondriac.
For your consideration, I submit the following points as evidence:
- Within five minutes of someone around me declaring he/she has a sore throat…I become very aware of a slight hint of a scratch in my throat.
- Within a few minutes of someone telling me that they have a stomach virus…I become very aware of a slight hint of a scratch in my throat. (What the heck? That’s not even the right symptom!)
- Within a few minutes of someone telling me that a child in a house I just visited threw up shortly after I left…I become aware of a slight hint of a scratch in my throat.
- Within a few minutes of reading several blogs where the writers said they were sick and going back to bed…I become aware of a slight hint of a scratch in my throat.
- I love the smell of Lysol.
- I love antibacterial soaps.
- I love hand sanitizers.
- I have to use lots of lotion on my hands in the winter because the constant use of antibacterial soaps and hand sanitizers dries them out.
- I take steady doses of Airborne and Zicam whenever anyone who lives within 200 yards of my house has a cold.
To my amazement, however…a nasty stomach bug hit my wife (The Wild One) and son (The Director) two weeks ago. I never got it. As I write this, both The Wild One and The Director are suffering from a cold and are lying around in their pajamas. I have yet to come down with it, despite the fact that I am aware of a slight hint of a scratch in my throat.
Guess the hand sanitizers, antibacterial soap, Lysol, Airborne and Zicam are working.
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(P.S. To help someone who might really be sick and in need, please check out the Uganda links on the sidebar. Let’s look outside ourselves and do what we can to be Jesus to the world.)
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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Baahahahaha! Have you considered that maybe Zicam puts a tickle in your throat? You could be slightly allergic to lysol!
Tell that wild one I hope she feels better soon–and the director, too.
What’s *really* funny, Kool, is how folks have tried to offer me remedies or help me with my compulsion. I copied this entry somewhere else, and one guy tried to basically counsel me in the comments about my germ paranoia.
Note to all people everywhere: It…was…a…JOKE! The proper response is “Baaahahahaha!”
Being the obviously hyper-sensitive person that I am, btw…I can actually tell the difference between a Zicam throat tickle and a general slight tickle in my throat. 🙂