Tracy wrote a very thoughtful piece today called “Us Versus Them“, talking about the mentality so prevalent among us humans to differentiate ourselves from others, to see ourselves as superior to others over this or that belief, or color of skin, or what-have-you.
At the end of the post, she asked us, her readers, to consider whether we still struggle with the us-versus-them mentality. The thoughts came pouring through my mind, too much to put in a comment; so I thought I’d reflect on it here. (I think this problem is common to all mankind, but for our purposes I’ll put it in the context of belief and practice of faith.)
I think ultimately there are two ways we can come into the us-versus-them mentality. On one hand, when we feel we have tapped into a particular revelation, or been touched by a particular move of God, or something similar that other believers have not received, we may easily begin to draw identity from it, considering ourselves “free” or “less religious” than our brethren who are not so “fortunate” to see things the way we do. We may even be clever enough to cloak it in a false sense of compassion: “I feel sorry for them.” But the subtle problem with that is that it can easily be interpreted as condescension, and in many cases rightly so.
The other us-versus-them approach is a more defensive posture. When we feel we have something fresh from God, and someone who sees it differently shoots us down or de-legitimizes us for it–that can create a sort of victim mentality, a more “reactionary” us-versus-them mentality. Instead of taking the role of the superior brethren, we take the role of the oppressed minority, the rebel outcast.
Sadly, to be quite honest…both of these approaches, in my opinion, are symptoms of the same thing: pride. And to be even more honest…I have been guilty of both approaches, at different times, and more often than I’d like to admit.
If I were to choose between the two approaches as to which one I struggle most with at this point in my life, it would be the second one–the rebel outcast. The sting of de-legitimization is still very fresh in my soul, and I would openly admit that some of that comes out in my blog here from time to time. If any of my readers have been here from the beginning, you’ll remember that I started the blog saying that this was a place of processing my thoughts and feelings. Naturally, that’s going to get messy at times. In the past seven months or so, I’ve laid a lot of stuff on the table here that has hopefully been helpful to the conversation, and I’ve also said a few things I’ve come to regret. But this isn’t a sterile environment, and I’m not completely cerebral. Like anyone else, I don’t just think; I feel. A lot. And not all of it is Christlike.
That being said…none of that justifies the pride that fuels us-versus-them. It’s still sin, however you explain it. I see sin (including pride) as a sign of brokenness, and when I see the sin in my own soul, it points to my own ongoing need for a Healer.
The us-versus-them mentality not only divides brothers and sisters needlessly; it also blocks us from reaching others with the love of Christ. We need to deal with us-versus-them issues with the world around us as well. It’s true enough that there is a unique sense of fellowship we believers find with other believers; but to allow that to make us feel superior to the world around us…that is a huge turn-off. One of the biggest complaints non-believers have toward the church is of our superior self-righteousness.
Us versus them. It’s got to go. When you really think about it, it’s only “us”. Every person is a person for whom Christ died. Whether or not they ever accept His sacrifice.
God forgive us. God forgive me. Reader–forgive me. And thanks, Tracy–I needed that.
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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Jeff, you’ve said so much here that needed to be said–excellent stuff. When I post later today I’ll link back to your blog in it so others will read this.
A thought . . .
Jesus himself could have easily went either way on this as well. Certainly there are hints that his followers did. But he chose to bleed love for people. Let his actions speak instead of copping an attitude toward pride or martyrdom.
We will always fight this. Not just in matters of faith, but in all things life offers us. The sanest people are the ones who reside in the middle.
Like Jesus . . .
Jeff,
Thanks for writing this. It spoke to me. I think the Holy Spirit just showed me that, recently, in Blogland, I’ve unfortunately taken an Us vs. Them stance…not meaning to…but I did, nontheless.
You’re so right when you say it can be so subtle and easy to “begin to draw identity from it, considering ourselves ‘free’ or ‘less religious’ than our brethren who are not so ‘fortunate’ to see things the way we do.”
Although this is a tough lesson to swallow, thank You Holy Spirit for showing me this. And thank you Jeff for writing this. Both of you working together.
Sigh…I’m certainly a work in progress.
~Amy 🙂
Jeff, lets hope we can tear down those barriers between us and them. I think our wholeness depends on it.
Definately been guilty of both versions myself, and it does all boil down to pride. I’ve said a lot of things in the passion of the moment that later I realized were not very discerning, and am having to work to rebuild many bridges that were burned…
That being said, I’ve been noticing more lately that the legitimate calls for unity and brotherly love are often times not much more than devices people want to grind the whole discussion of what God really says about his Church to a grinding halt. It’s easy to hind amongst the crowd, and let others defend your traditions, but when you step out and allow the living word of God to have free reign, possibly crushing many of our most cherished institutions in the process, it’s going to ruffle people’s feathers. I’ve found that often it’s the folks on the “institutional side” of the fence who want to first cry foul, declaring those who raise questions are the ones creating the us vs. them mentality. More and more I find myself working to clarify the issue, going from Us vs. Them, to, Us vs. an Unbiblical System….
Boy can I relate to the “rebel outcast” version of the us-vs-them mentality! I live in a super-conservative small town in East Tennessee, and I find myself making unfair assumptions about the motives of those with whom I disagree…often before I really hear them out. Thanks for the great post and the great reminder.
One thing to consider: I’ve been reading Shane Claiborne’s “Jesus for President” and I’ve been reminded of how important it is that followers of Christ be “set apart” from the rest of the world – in our love for one another, exceptional care for the poor, etc. Perhaps a more appropriate mentality is an “us in contrast to them” mentality, one that emphasizes our highly unusual acts of goodwill and kindness! 🙂
Thanks all, for your comments so far.
Tracy, thanks for the link back. And thanks again for the wake-up call.
tysdaddy,
Good thought. Thanks.
Amy,
I, too, am a work in progress. I think we make the most progress when we are honest with ourselves, don’t you? 🙂
Jonathan,
I think you’re right, and I think it starts with our own hearts.
“Mustard Seed”,
Some good thoughts here. The counter-balance to this discussion is that there *are* those people who will actually play the “you-are-not-in-unity” card, not only to shut down the voices they don’t wish to hear and avoid the issue, but also sometimes to manipulate or shame people for their own purposes. I do not suggest that we play that game; but the us-versus-them mentality is more a matter of the heart, a motivation in our own soul. We must be careful not to allow others’ bad motives or agendas to be an excuse to continue in our own pride. It is admittedly easy to do that.
Rachel,
Boy, am I guilty of making assumptions about the motives of others. Again, when you are shell-shocked and on the defensive, that is an easy snare to fall into.
Thank you for being willing to share your processing of thoughts and feelings and for risking the messiness. I for one am grateful you are willing to talk about these things. It makes me feel less alone in my dissatisfaction with ‘the way we’ve always done it.’