Teach a Man to Fish (and Other Things We Say to Make Ourselves Feel Better)

This post is my contribution to Blog Action Day 2008. This year’s topic: poverty.

I feel like the global issue of poverty is one of those things I’m least qualified to talk about. I am not an activist, I’ve not been part of many relief ministries, except for one I’ll talk about momentarily. I’ve spent most of my life sheltered in the church, allowing someone else to deal with those issues. The most connection I’ve had with poverty is a measure of personal experience–which means I have spent significant amounts of time not having enough to make ends meet, knowing what it is to be in need. Some days I’ve awakened not knowing how my family would eat that day. However, even that sense of lack I’ve felt (which was painful enough) does not even begin to compare with what others in my own country have felt, let alone in third world countries. So even with the limited personal experience I have, my own lack of action makes me feel unqualified to tell others what to do.

However, the problem exists, and it must be discussed. And the one area I feel I can share in is to share how my own excuses to avoid the subject are currently being eradicated. (And although poverty is a global problem that nations must deal with on a global level…in my little corner here, I’ll primarily be talking about dealing with the poor in our own neighborhoods.)

I have often heard (and repeated) the adage: Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. I have to affirm the truth in that statement, and I definitely feel it’s wise to try to help people help themselves. Another oft-quoted phrase is that we should give people a hand up, not a handout. Again, truth rings in these words.

But have we ever stopped to consider that we sometimes manipulate true statements to our own ends? Here is what I mean: most people I’ve heard make those statements are not teaching anyone to fish. They are only saying it to appease their own conscience for not giving away any fish. In other words–the adage gives the person an excuse to do nothing, thereby missing the point entirely.

And what about the fact that the guy might starve to death while you’re trying to teach him to fish? (When you’re hungry, can you concentrate on learning new skills?) Why is it either/or? Why can’t we give the man a fish, and then teach him to fish?

And here’s an even tougher question to chew on: if the man refuses to learn to fish…are we really absolved of our responsibility to help him when he won’t help himself?

The truth is, most of us are made uncomfortable by the pain of others. This is why it is considered socially inappropriate in many circles to “vent” publicly, or to tell the truth when a passer-by asks how you are doing, and you are doing badly. Have you ever “let it out” and admitted your hardship to someone else, say in a church setting, only to have that person give you a pat on the back, a trite expression of “encouragement”, and walk away? Ever wonder why we do that kind of thing? Personally, I believe it’s because people are dealing with their own discomfort over your discomfort. That trite response didn’t help you at all, but it made the other person feel better about himself for having “helped” you. It’s a form of false charity that appeases our own conscience without us having to get down with the other person and actually embrace the pain with him or her.

The thing is that we tend to use similar tactics when the issue of poverty comes up in our vicinity. We might actually support a charity financially (which is good, don’t get me wrong), but we’ll let others do the dirty work of actually interacting with the poor. We pass by the homeless guy who asks for a quarter because we tell ourselves he’ll use it to buy booze, which won’t really help him; but we won’t even think of buying him lunch, which would help him a little. And in the company of one another, we quote the teach-a-man-to-fish adage to console ourselves that offering short-term relief to the poor won’t help them in the long run. All of these are actually dodge-tactics that are more about how we feel than about how someone in poverty must feel–because we don’t want to deal with their pain.

But they have to deal with it. Every day. Without us. And while it’s true enough that some people don’t do enough to help themselves, it’s equally true that many of those people either don’t know how to help themselves, or are dealing with other issues that prevent them from doing so.

In my earlier years, I was part of a church that had a weekly food ministry. We’d conduct a service and make the people sit through it, then give them a ticket they could redeem for a bag of groceries at the end. Ironically, it soured me on benevolence ministry for awhile–mostly because I watched these people come week after week, manipulate and try to fool us by going through the line multiple times, make excuses for why they needed more than someone else, and never say “thank you”…and then I’d see these same people turn up at some other church the next day to raid their food pantry. By the time they were done, I figured some of these people were eating better than I was. So I told myself that while it was good in theory to help the poor, we needed to be “wise” and “good stewards” to safeguard against people who would take unfair advantage. It sounded good and noble, but it was actually a hardening of the heart. It was more about my sense of fairness than the legitimate needs of real people.

More excuses.

But here’s what’s right in front of us all. The Bible tells us repeatedly to remember the poor. It does not give us permission to differentiate between those who are more deserving than others. It does not give us permission to withhold because someone is ornery or ungrateful or manipulative.

It does not give us permission to withhold giving the man a fish because the man does not show interest in learning to fish for himself.

I am not saying we shouldn’t try to help people make choices that will give them a more permanent solution to their poverty. That is a good thing, and worth the time and effort. Neither am I saying we should have no boundaries. What I am saying is that we must not use that as an excuse to withhold when we have it to give. Especially as followers of Jesus–the Scriptures do not give us that luxury. We are to help the poor. Period. The results of our generosity are up to God. This is the nature of unconditional love. When we make excuses like the ones I’ve shared above, what we’re actually doing is placing conditions on our acts of love. We’ll give if it’s appreciated, or if the recipient is willing to help himself. But that isn’t how God loves us, is it?

This is something that is slowly becoming truth lived out in my own life, as I allow my old mindsets to crumble. I am learning that the unconditional love that Jesus shows us all should serve as our own example. How did He show love, and how does He show love? He came to earth as one of us, not as the superior benefactor. He taught us that the Father sends rain on the just and the unjust (so much for deserving it). And He laid down His life for us all to have the opportunity to be restored to God–knowing full well that many of us would reject the offer, but dying anyway so we would at least have the chance. Every day, God willingly gives breath into the lungs of people who curse Him, mock Him and reject Him.

I could never measure up to that example; I am way too selfish. But I want to follow Jesus, and in following Him, I know that I can become less selfish and more like Him. I am not in any position to preach to others about this issue, but I am peeking out of my shell, and finding that when I truly give of myself, without worrying about whether or not my gift is appreciated…I find myself drinking deeper of the life of God.