So I was having a conversation the other day with one of the “unchurched mentors” I talked about a few posts ago. The Wild One and I were sitting with him and his wife in their living room, processing some thoughts about ministry and direction. My friend–let’s call him “Dr. Love”–was suggesting that it might be a good season for us to look at doing some more itinerant-type ministry, in addition to what we’re currently doing. He suggested going to different places and sharing in churches where we could.
Now, we have done traveling ministry in the past, but for the past three years or so, we’ve done almost no travel. And it’s been during this past three years or so that God has done so much of the de-constructing in our lives, to the point that we no longer feel in our element in institutional churches at all. So when my friend Dr. Love suggested this, all I could think of was how I no longer fit in that vein of ministry, and I told him as much. I said, “I think we could probably make the connection with some house churches here and there, but I don’t think I want to go back into the institutional churches. I wouldn’t even know what to say to them.”
And then Dr. Love said this:
“Jeff, you’ve gotten out of the box. Now don’t put yourself into another one.”
What a simple, profound thing to say. You see why I like this guy?
Since that time, it’s like that one statement has been extracted out of the entire conversation and has reverberated and bounced around in my soul like a ball in a pinball machine, continuing to speak to me. It was one of those “God moments”. I was enlightened and convicted at the same time.
Enlightened because of the truth that statement contains. Convicted because it showed me the danger I was already in.
You see, like so many others who are finding their way outside the walls of the institutions, I wasn’t just disillusioned by the system; I was also wounded by it–several times. Being wounded carries a lot more emotion with it than just being disillusioned. When we are wounded, the reflex is to shrink back, detach, and withdraw. A very normal reaction.
But if we are not careful, we can form a whole new sense identity out of our wounding, or even out of our disillusionment. As we find one another outside the walls, we can form a whole new collective of the dissatisfied saints, those who have awakened to the fallacies of the institutions. It would be very easy to make a vow in our hearts that we don’t belong with “those people” anymore. It would also be very easy to begin seeing ourselves as a distinct and separate group, choosing to keep company with one another, away from “those people.”
Trading one box for another.
And before long…it would be easy for pride to come in, as we viewed ourselves as the “enlightened ones,” feeling sorry for those poor people who haven’t “seen the light” because they’re still doing church the “old way.”
Sound a bit extreme for you? Or maybe like me, it’s hits closer to home than you’d like to admit. I wasn’t quite at the arrogant stage; but I could see the path, clear as day, and I was on it. I was feeding off my disillusionment–and my woundedness–to distinguish and label myself as non-traditional. Seeing myself as belonging in some places and not in others. Trading one box for another.
Here’s the point. The church is still the church, no matter how or where she meets. I’ve said before right here on this blog that we do not leave the church when we leave the institutions. We are simply shedding excess baggage, and that should lead us to a point of freedom. If we exile ourselves from the rest of the Body of Christ over this, however, it becomes just another box–and make no mistake, a box can turn into a new form of religion very quickly. I don’t want that for myself, or anyone else.
So while some of us may no longer subscribe to an institution, the believers in the institutions are still part of us. And some of those folks might not like it, but…we are still part of them, too. To paraphrase a saying…”You can pick your friends, but you’re stuck with your relatives.” There are those, particularly in institutional leadership, who will reject us if our worldview challenges the status quo. But that does not mean that we should reject them back. It does not mean if you’re out of institutional church, that you should go back. It just means that we should not let our enemy turn our new-found freedoms into new forms of bondage.
I hope all that makes sense. As I said, it’s still bouncing around in my soul right now–and it’s making some major attitude adjustments as well.
“You’ve gotten out of the box. Now don’t put yourself into another one.”
Cool. 🙂
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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GREAT line! Thanks
A very wise friend. I have been coming to the conclusion lately that there is enough rejection in this world already. I never want to reject people, although I may not embrace certain practices or beliefs that they embrace. Practices or beliefs should never be the conditional basis of relationship – otherwise, we just have more denominationalism and less “Father make them one as you and I are one.” Not always easy.
It seems that navigating those cross-cultural relationships is sometimes difficult, but if it just comes down to loving the other, honoring the other, and accepting them as they are – then that is very powerful. I don’t think I always do that very well, but it’s something I’m trying to practice.
Oh, and this reminded me of a favorite quote of mine: “Just love the one in front of you.” That could be anyone… as you say, outside the boxes.