Sometimes it takes looking back just a bit to see how much God has used your experiences to shape you.
It’s as if I can look at myself now, and the “me” back a few years ago, and it looks like two different people. Since embarking on this journey of deconstruction, I can hardly believe how my thinking and actions have changed over the years.
Here are a few examples of what I mean:
- I used to see God as a Person to be communicated with only through various spritual exercises like prayer, worship and Bible study. The more of these you did…the more spiritual you were.
Now I see God as Someone who is actively engaged in my whole life, and I can see the signs of His presence throughout my existence–and I see spirituality as the ability to perceive and commune with God in the mundane as well as in the other activities. - I used to see “worship” as specific actions directed toward God (i.e., singing, raising hands, bowing, dancing, etc.), whether in private or in a corporate worship setting.
Now, as a believer, I see worship as interwoven throughout life–that all of a life lived unto God can be worship, including acts of service and kindness to others, developing Christlike character, and even the pure enjoyment of the life He has given us. All of life is worship, and I don’t have to turn worship on and off by specific activities. - I used to see “the ministry” as a coveted calling and vocation, a profession relegated to a few people selected by God. While I recognized the priesthood of all believers, I still saw “the ministry” as something above. And as one called to “the ministry”, I saw it as a job more than anything else–something I turned on and off. The ministry was “the Father’s business.” I used to see my position in ministry as a position to be protected at all costs; and protect it I did.
Now I see the ministry as interwoven into the fabric of every follower of Jesus, a calling inherent to all of us, and something we can walk in naturally as as we live our lives. I believe there are still those God leads to devote themselves full-time to ministry pursuits, but “the Father’s business” encompasses any endeavor or profession that is productive and life-giving. And full-time ministry (done the right way) is not a life of entitlement, but of service.
Just some stuff I’ve learned along the way.
Sometimes it takes looking back just a bit to see how much God has used your experiences to shape you. Perhaps this is why the journey is every bit as important as the destination.
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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“… the journey is every bit as important as the destination.”
Thanks for that! Sometimes when I look at the ideal and see how miserably I’m failing to live up to that ideal – I get discouraged.
But this encouraged me to keep going. God measures progress in how far you’ve come and how far you’re willing to go. Not on which step you are currently taking on that journey (or where you are at in the process).
I’m tired of both communicating to others that they’re failing to measure up to the ideal, and tired of hearing that I’m failing to measure up (from others) as well: Not missional enough, not connected enough, not servant enough, not whatever enough. Perhaps it’s important that we exhort one another toward a greater expression of our faith, but we have to give room for ourselves too.
This post articulates that well – it’s journey (movement) that counts, not perfection/arrival. If our heart is to follow Him, then the journey will lead us where He wants to take us. What’s that word I’m thinking of? …Grace, that’s it.
I think you and I have been learning from the same Teacher. 🙂
I think one of the biggest things I have learned is that life IS a journey and that we WILL arrive someday, but in the meantime we will not be perfect, and will continue to learn and grow.
good post dude,
i meant brother dude.. 🙂
Jeff,
Wonderful! Isn’t it amazing what Papa teaches us along our Journey in all the various methods He uses?! It excites me, actually…to think that He’s going to continue to grow me, reveal important understandings!
Beautiful, Jeff! I could relate to all you have stated here. Thank you for it.
I think it was good you posted this blog. Sometimes, I think it’s important to take a look at what Father, Son and Spirit has sorted out and worked within us!
Blessings,
~Amy 🙂
http://amyiswalkinginthespirit.blogspot.com
Don’t know what the ‘you’ of a few years ago would of posted but I enjoy what ‘you’ of now posts.
I am enjoying the ride more so because I am no longer involved in “The Ministry”.
Sarah,
I think embracing the journey is a huge step to take, and I’m glad that encouraged you. Methinks I want to expand on that idea sometime soon…
Co-heir,
What Teacher are you listening to? Can I get his/her tapes?
😀
Thanks, bro.
Spanks, Thankie…er, um…thanks, dude.
Amy,
I think–scratch that: I *know*, by experience–that often in the immediate circumstance it can be hard to see the hand of God at work. In fact, it can look like the opposite. Sometimes, it’s in the looking back that you go, “Oooooooohhhhh…..THAT’S what You were doing.” 🙂
I think that in those times, just knowing that there is some shaping going on that will one day make sense…gives hope to keep walking through them.
Mork,
I dunno if you then would have liked what me then would have written then, but I’m glad you now likes what me now is writing now.
???????? 🙂
Jeff,
I can remember when I first realized that I was called to “the ministry”, I couldn’t wait to get there.
When I finally got there, I stayed for a year. At the end of a year I felt so burned out and used up and really just plain used, that I ran to get away from it.
After I was away from full time ministry long enough to get healed, I realized that it was a much better thing for me to hold a secular job and do “ministry” in the evenings and on the weekends.
It was only then that I really began to enjoy the journey. One reason for that is,I began to realize that ministry happens as you live your life. Also, you are, where you are, for a reason.
It’s funny (well not really), when I consider that sometimes things are not obvious to me, until makes them painfully obvious.
Blessings,
Gary
Great thoughts Jeff. Many still hold to that artificial delineation between the sacred and the secular.. it takes you to some weird places.
Mork said: “Don’t know what the ‘you’ of a few years ago would of posted but I enjoy what ‘you’ of now posts.”
Now, that would be a good syncroblog to post what we would have said a few short years ago. Jesus help us!
Gary,
Yeah, I think ultimately turning the ministry into a “profession” instead of an all-embracing lifestyle has really brought (among other things) a lot of confusion. I think, as Paul put it, there are those who can and should “gain their living from the gospel”–that’s Biblical enough–but even the phrase “full-time ministry” puts it in the context of a *job* rather than a devotion of one’s time and energy. And if ministry is a lifestyle, then it will reflect and play out differently for each of us, according to our uniqueness–not this cookie-cutter thing we’ve turned it into.
Sounds like after trying to fit a certain mold, you found your own rhythm.
KB,
All I can say is…separating sacred and secular took *me* to some pretty weird places. *wince*
🙂
Barb,
I think the synchroblog idea is a good one, except that we would probably all get hung up just on the title of it. Something like:
“What Me Then Would Have Written Then–And What Me Now Thinks of It”
🙂