Categotry Archives: My Story

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Deconstructing "Quiet Time"

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Categories: changing mindsets, Meanderings (look it up), My Story

I want to give a bit of a disclaimer about this next bit I’m about to write….

It is part of my story, my journey. It doesn’t necessarily have to be part of yours. In other words, by sharing what I’ve been going through and the conclusions I’m coming to, I’m not suggesting that this is how it ought to be for everyone. Just sharing, that’s all.

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What is "church"? A personal history…

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Categories: changing mindsets, My Story

Below is an excerpt from a book I am working on called “I Grew Up in Church.” The content below is copyrighted, so please don’t copy it without my permission. However, I’d value any comments or feedback you have about the material–from content to writing style, whatever you’d like to say. Enjoy.
My earliest memory of church was at a little Episcopal Church called St. Joseph’s. I don’t know how old I was, exactly. I think it must have been missions week or something, because the memory I have is of being chosen to stand in front of the church holding one of those globe coin banks. I don’t remember whether anyone put any money in it. I just remember standing there looking at all the grown-ups looking back at me and smiling the way grown-ups do whenever little kids do something cute in church. I wondered what I was doing to get all this attention.

The only other thing I remember about St. Joseph’s was the priest, a big jolly man named Father Al. I never understood why his name was Father Al and not Joseph, since it was Joseph’s church. Father Al was over at my house a lot when I was little, and stayed friends with my mom long after we left that church. I didn’t know at the time why he came over so much, but now I know he was helping my mom cope with my dad leaving us.

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Pastoral Manipulation

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Categories: My Story, Rantings

Oooh, now that’s a provocative title. 🙂

Church pastors can be the most co-dependent people in the world. (Being a recovering co-dependent myself, I ought to know.) I don’t say this to slam well-intended men and women of God; I say it because I believe the institutional church system promotes codependency among its leaders.

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The Chocolate Button part 2

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Categories: My Story, Rantings

Okay, time for true confessions…

I spent most of my childhood and adulthood in the institutional church system. I was a proponent of it, and ::wincing:: I looked down my nose at those who had a problem with it or abandoned it. I passed them off as anomalies, as people who fell through the cracks, as people with issues of their own, predisposed to being negative, etc., etc. I blamed the devil for it. All sorts of denial.

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Great expectations, part 2

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Categories: My Story, Rantings

In my last entry, I made a rather blunt remark that great expectations can be a terrible curse. I’d now like to pick up that thread and explain that statement.

It’s not that we shouldn’t strive for excellence, have vision and goals, or just go through life by the seat of our pants and all be under-achievers. That’s not what I mean. Great expectations are when people are so enamored with your gifts and your perceived potential that they fail to see the real you. And those kinds of expectations are so weighty that the greatest of men and women buckle under them. Why? Because there is no such person as super-Christian, and none of us were meant to carry that kind of burden. I’m convinced that this is a huge reason why we’ve seen so many high-profile “celebrity” ministers fail morally and financially. We just aren’t built to be worshiped that way.

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Great expectations, part 1

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Categories: My Story, Rantings

So…some more about my background…and with it, some of the cracks that started to appear in my religious foundations…

I grew up as a “good kid”. I said my prayers (usually), I ate my vegetables (mostly), I obeyed my parents (except for a few compulsive behaviors). But even when I didn’t do everything right, I tried very hard to please. I hated to be in trouble. For the most part, I was all about following the rules. Not only did I consider it my honorable duty to keep the rules, but I felt it was my moral obligation to help everyone else keep them, too. If I noticed my mom slightly speeding, I’d point out the speed limit signs. When I saw a classmate breaking a rule, I’d helpfully remind that person that we weren’t supposed to do that.

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