Wayward Son

Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo. I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.

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Thankfulness-The Antidote For Entitlement

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Categories: food for thought

In the last post, I ranted awhile about the unattractive sense of entitlement that exists in our culture, and even within the church. Forgive me if I seemed especially snarky–I think those sentiments had been stirring in my soul for weeks since I got back from Europe, and I never really had an opportunity to vent.

That said, I’ve been pondering some of the things I said toward the end of that post, particularly about presenting requests to God with thanksgiving. I am pondering the idea that a thankful heart can be an antidote for the entitlement mentality that is so contagious around us. And as I sit here with my coffee on a pretty Thanksgiving morning, it seems a good time to ponder this some more.

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The Blight of Entitlement

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Categories: Rantings

[smiles with a snarky grin, clears throat, steps onto soapbox]

I observed something quite interesting on my recent trip to Paris–or more specifically, when I got back. (Like many, I believe the real culture shock doesn’t always happen on your trip, but on your return home.)

Here’s what I saw. I spent two weeks in a basically socialist nation, one in which people rely on the government to provide many, many basic services (and to which they pay very high taxes for those services). These are services that many in this country would refer to as “entitlement programs.” And yet, ironically, I saw more instances of people acting “entitled” in the first two days coming back to America than I experienced in my entire time in France.

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Looking Back, Looking Forward

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Categories: Meanderings (look it up)

After my melancholy-laden last post, I feel better today. Thanks for asking, 🙂 But I have to tell a (semi) funny story, and then I’ll ramble a bit more.

Right after I hit “publish” on the last post, a friend of mine in the coffee shop where I was blogging came and sat with me to chat. He knows a bit of my story, and since the stuff I’d written was fresh on my mind, I began to relate to him what I’d been thinking about–about feeling exiled from the institutional church and the platform of corporate worship, and missing those moments of God’s presence, and feeling like I don’t fit anywhere right now, blah blah blah….

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Someday, Before the Throne

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Categories: Meanderings (look it up)

Can we talk?

If you’ve read this blog for any length of time (and/or if you’re one of the few stragglers left since I moved the blog), you have probably picked up that I live in a sort of irony–a tension between the new and the comfortable.  I’ve spent a lot of time here talking about the flaws and inconsistencies of the institutional church system, how I became alienated from that system but haven’t lost my faith, why I feel I can’t go back to it, etc., etc. But I’ve also talked about how my journey out of that system was more one of “kicking and screaming,” of being ejected more than of walking away voluntarily.

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You’ll Never Guess Where I’ve Been…

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Categories: food for thought, travel

thinker

…but the picture above is a hint.

You might recognize this statue if you’re a long-time reader, not just because it’s a really, really famous statue, because I’ve often used a photo of it in posts like these.

But the one above isn’t a picture I just found on the Interwebs.  I took it myself last week.

Yep. I’ve been in Paris. The photo is of “The Thinker,” on display at the Rodin Museum.

I know there’s been a lot of radio silence lately on this here blog. This trip, and the preparation time that preceded it, might explain some of that silence.

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The Gift Is the Ministry

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Categories: changing mindsets

I know this is ground I’ve covered before at some point on this here blog, but if you will indulge me…

A few years ago, during the height of our deconstruction, our family had a very serious conversation together. This conversation led to a paradigm shift for me, one that has informed my path ever since. Essentially, I was lamenting the fact that I had built my entire musical identity around the platform of institutional church, and now that we were feeling disenfranchised from the institution, I found myself having something of an identity crisis.  How does a worship leader function with no platform from which to lead? What do I do now with these gifts?  In the course of the conversation, I started to say, “We’ve spent our whole lives trying to fit our gifts into this box we call ‘the ministry’…”

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Revisiting ‘Blue Like Jazz’ (or, How I Still Wish I Could Write Like Donald Miller)

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Categories: Meanderings (look it up)

So while I was away visiting my Mom last weekend in Tulsa, The Wild One and The Director had something up their sleeves.  When I came home, I found that my office/studio had been totally redone. Curtains hung, walls painted, clutter put away (thankfully not thrown away, ‘cuz you know, just because it’s messy doesn’t mean it’s junk), furniture moved around–they just made it a really nice haven to work, study and create.  A great surprise, and it really meant a lot to me.

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Stomping Grounds: Scene of the Crimes

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Categories: Meanderings (look it up), My Story

It’s Labor Day.  And you’ll never guess where I am…

…Blogging from a coffee shop in Tulsa.

It’s been five years, almost to the day, that my family and I left this place, shaking the dust off our feet.  That day ended a 10-year struggle that I’d never want to re-live.  We’d been faithful, done everything we felt God wanted us to do, but we had seen very little visible fruit, and in the face of it we’d encountered everything from subtle resistance to outright hostility from the religious community. In short–Tulsa kicked our arses.  We left free, but bruised and broken.

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“In” or “Out”

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Categories: changing mindsets, moments of truth

Robin WilliamsLike so many, I was shocked and devastated to hear the news this week that comedy icon Robin Williams had died, apparently by his own hand. What a loss.  The first question that popped into so many of our heads was Why?  How could someone who made so many people happy be in such despair?  As the reports began filtering in afterward–news about his struggle with depression, and his recent diagnosis with Parkinson’s, some of the blanks were filled in for us, and even though we still grieve the loss–and even though he should still be with us today–we at least begin to get a glimpse of what this man was going through in his personal life, and what those closest to him were seeing as to his private struggles.

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Consumerism Christianity At Its Worst

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Categories: Rantings

I remember talking at length in the past about how the modern (American) church functions more as a business than as an organism, and the ways that I’ve observed that church-as-business really gets in the way of our Biblical mandates. Recently, though, I’ve heard about some disturbing trends within the church that have revived this issue in my mind, got me thinking about it some more. It’s more than just a trend for churches to function like businesses–it points to what I’ll call “consumerism Christianity,” something I find not only to be unbiblical, but also dangerous.

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