Since I began this journey of faith, there have been many things I never saw coming, that I look back and say, “I never would have thought that would have happened.”
For example, I never would have thought…
…that I would be a minister.
…that I would become a worship leader.
…that as a worship leader, I would become a pastor.
…that as a worship leader, I would become disillusioned and bored with the type of worship I was doing.
…that as a pastor, I would become a house church pastor.
…that people would eventually be asking me questions about house church, as though I were an expert.
…that I would be a recovering codependent, learning not to pastor codependently.
…that I would have to start over, not once, but multiple times.
…that I would ever have left the institutional church.
…that I would ever lose favor or be considered a threat to institutional leadership.
…that anyone would ever question my salvation.
…that I would ever be writing a blog about all this.
…that I would ever be thankful for the hard times I have walked through.
But so it is. And God has been with me, faithful every step of the way.
Along with the things I never would have thought, there are so many “a-ha” moments, too. Realizing that nothing I’ve walked through is any surprise to God, realizing that, “Oh, THIS is what He was up to.”
Not that all my questions are answered; in fact, I now have more questions than answers. But I have enough “a-ha” moments, and moments of truth, that I know I can trust Jesus the rest of the way.
Wayward Son
Musician. Composer. Recovering perfectionist. Minister-in-transition. Lover of puns. Hijacker of rock song references. Questioner of the status quo.
I'm not really a rebel. Just a sincere Christ-follower with a thirst for significance that gets me into trouble. My quest has taken me over the fence of institutional Christianity. Here are some of my random thoughts along the way. Read along, join in the conversation. Just be nice.
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Jumped here from another blog and you sound as though you are walking ahead of me.
I mean I am struggling with several of those things you listed here and have passed through several.
At this time I am a lay pastor serving two rural churches and struggle with that worship boredom thing. I struggle with the institutional church and how people percieve their roll in it.
Am in a community that appears to leave room for any other kind of church.
Will read again however I am quite sporadic with the net these days.
Thanks — Grace and Peace WaynO
Jeff,
This is very, very cool! Love what Papa has “surprised” you with.
It’s so neat that you posted this.
I, too, continue to be amazingly surprised when I find myself (both good AND “bad”). Ha! I was thinking back to when I was 18. I wrote down a whole list of where I thought I’d be at age 28. I was totally addicted to planning then. I had my own agendas.
Life is a Journey. Full of surprises. Although sometimes it’s a challenge NOT to hold tight to my own agendas (Papa certainly has done good work about this with me…but I most certainly have a ways to go) I’m definitely learning the more I just simply go with His flow each day, the most I enjoy each moment along the Journey.
Great post, my friend.
Blessings,
~Amy 🙂
Allow me to say I am glad you thought them, and blogged about them. They have been a great source of help and blessings to me. Thanks.
Jeff,
Seems that your, “never would have thought” list looks alot like mine.
I never would have thought that the place I thought I could receive encouragement, would end up ultimately being the place of discouragement…… But, the ic seems to have become the place of discouragement for many people!!
Blessings,
Gary